OMG: Tweeting Parliament
Simon Hoggart: The modern form of communication is Twitter, and from now on the parliamentary sketch is going to be in the form of tweets
The modern form of communication is Twitter, and from now on the parliamentary sketch is going to be in the form of tweets. I am told that these should be a blend of the important and the utterly trivial, with all the material presented as if it was truly gripping so that you have loads of "followers". And no tweet can be more than 140 characters long. Or 147. Or something. So a few of mine don't quite fit.
13.30 Lunch in press gallery dining room. Toad-in-the-hole. Asked for extra onion gravy – and got it. Thanks, Rosita!
14.35 Glenys Kinnock, gowned, granted "state, degree, style, dignity and honor of Baroness Kinnock of Holyhead" in Lords. Neil, her old man, grins from ear to
14.41 Lords discuss incontinence, demand better equipment for sufferers. Baroness Tonge says they don't want "bog-standard product". Lords LOL
15.00 Go to toilet myself. Ignore sign reading "peers only".
15.05 Foreign questions in Commons. OMG, Sir Peter Tapsell is in powder-blue suit. Looks like MC at Butlins. Summer must be here.
15.18 Anne Main, St Albans Tory, in little black dress plus necklace apparently made of silver medals. Is she going to Glyndebourne, or the Olympics?
15.25 Watch Wimbledon over cup of tea. Men getting thinner, women beefier.
15.29 Elliot Morley, Julie Kirkbride, Andrew MacKay, the Three Racketeers, all forced to stand down, arrive in chamber together. Are they plotting a come
15.30 back?
15.31 Ed Balls statement on schools in 21st century. Whoop, whoop, major jargon alert!
15.36 Including "bureaucracy watchdog to remove obstacles to delivery"
15.38 and "not-for-profit-for-profit accredited schools". Will teachers have to go to classes to learn how to understand government gobbledy
15.39 gook?
15.41 Balls asks "what more needs to be done to deliver national challenge?" Do these people even listen to themselves?
15.44 Michael Gove, Tory spokesman, calls Balls an "attack-puppy, the prime minister's Mini-Me"
15.47 Balls lashes back, says Gove reply was "well-written" – "should be, he is paid £1,250 an hour to write." Gove gets £5,000 per month for a
15.48 weekly column for the Times, which he says takes "one hour" to write.
15.52 Balls nervous, starts swallowing words. "Literacy and numeracy" become "littacy an numacy". Colleagues are "onble frens".
16.23 Go to new press gallery unisex toilet. Not so fantastic; we have unisex toilet at home.
17.32 Hmm. Do people want to read this stuff? May rejoin dark ages and go back to continuous writing.
13.30 Lunch in press gallery dining room. Toad-in-the-hole. Asked for extra onion gravy – and got it. Thanks, Rosita!
14.35 Glenys Kinnock, gowned, granted "state, degree, style, dignity and honor of Baroness Kinnock of Holyhead" in Lords. Neil, her old man, grins from ear to
14.41 Lords discuss incontinence, demand better equipment for sufferers. Baroness Tonge says they don't want "bog-standard product". Lords LOL
15.00 Go to toilet myself. Ignore sign reading "peers only".
15.05 Foreign questions in Commons. OMG, Sir Peter Tapsell is in powder-blue suit. Looks like MC at Butlins. Summer must be here.
15.18 Anne Main, St Albans Tory, in little black dress plus necklace apparently made of silver medals. Is she going to Glyndebourne, or the Olympics?
15.25 Watch Wimbledon over cup of tea. Men getting thinner, women beefier.
15.29 Elliot Morley, Julie Kirkbride, Andrew MacKay, the Three Racketeers, all forced to stand down, arrive in chamber together. Are they plotting a come
15.30 back?
15.31 Ed Balls statement on schools in 21st century. Whoop, whoop, major jargon alert!
15.36 Including "bureaucracy watchdog to remove obstacles to delivery"
15.38 and "not-for-profit-for-profit accredited schools". Will teachers have to go to classes to learn how to understand government gobbledy
15.39 gook?
15.41 Balls asks "what more needs to be done to deliver national challenge?" Do these people even listen to themselves?
15.44 Michael Gove, Tory spokesman, calls Balls an "attack-puppy, the prime minister's Mini-Me"
15.47 Balls lashes back, says Gove reply was "well-written" – "should be, he is paid £1,250 an hour to write." Gove gets £5,000 per month for a
15.48 weekly column for the Times, which he says takes "one hour" to write.
15.52 Balls nervous, starts swallowing words. "Literacy and numeracy" become "littacy an numacy". Colleagues are "onble frens".
16.23 Go to new press gallery unisex toilet. Not so fantastic; we have unisex toilet at home.
17.32 Hmm. Do people want to read this stuff? May rejoin dark ages and go back to continuous writing.
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