Football Transfer Rumours: Michael Owen to Everton?

With all this week's Champions League excitement you wouldn't have thought the world of football would have enough energy left to create transfer gossip, but some things I guess just happen involuntarily. You think nothing's going to happen, and then out they come all the same. Like sneezes.

Not that the Mill has been sneezing, though. We'd like to make that very clear. No, the very picture of ruddy good health is the Mill.

What we have been doing, though, is identifying the very best rumors and then wiping them up like so much snot from a particularly runny nose.

Not that the Mill has a runny nose, though. We'd like to make that very clear.

Etcetera.

On with the show, and Everton are to make a stunning swoop for Newcastle's boyhood Blue and former Liverpool striker Michael Owen, who's going to be available on a free transfer at the end of the season. The striker's so keen to go he's ready to take a cut on his current £100,000-a-week wages to make it happen. Worth it, given the savings he'd be making on helicopter costs – that being how Owen gets to work from his Cheshire home at the moment.

Manchester City are leading a flotilla of English sides in a £15m attack on Portugal midfield ace Miguel Veloso – Arsenal and Tottenham are also interested. "England is his first choice, and he already speaks good English," reports his agent.

Portsmouth have slapped a £16m price tag on their England right-back Glen Johnson, with Tottenham, Liverpool and Aston Villa all interested. Rafa Benítez is also keeping tabs on the Marseille captain Lorik Cana as a potential replacement for Xabi Alonso. But maybe he'll just keep Alonso. Or he'll sell Alonso and buy Gareth Barry. Or he's just on a mission to destabilise every central midfielder in Europe, destroying their relationships with their club's supporters and then not buying them and just keeping Alonso.

Tugay is going to hang up his 38-year-old boots at the end of the season. Busy Blackburn boss Sam "Large Samuel" Allardyce is also likely to cash in on Roque Santa Cruz to generate funds for his summer spending spree. He's given Austria Under-21 goalkeeper Lukas Konigshofer a trial. Rovers' English striker Matt Derbyshire, on loan at Olympiakos, has sent Sam a postcard, telling him he's having a lovely time in Athens but isn't sure where his future lies.

Wolves are pondering a £2.5 offer for Aston Villa's jack-of-all-trades Craig Gardner.

And Carlo Ancelotti's future, which seemed settled just two days ago when he committed it to Milan, is all uncertain again after the club's owner, Silvo Berlusconi, discussed the possibility of him leaving this summer. So maybe he'll go to Chelsea after all. "It he leaves, I would take the route of an emerging coach like we did in the times of Sacchi and Capello," the Italian premier said.

Finally, off-the-pitch news of our favorite footballers. Firstly, erstwhile England ace David Beckham is in trouble for touching a model's elbow. In trouble with his wife, not the model. The model's quite happy about it. She also claims he invited her to a party. Beckham's spokesman says he hasn't had any parties and, what's more, that she is "a fantasist seeking publicity". The model, not his wife.

Robinho has shattered claims that he isn't staying at Manchester City by splashing out £30,000 on a soundproof music suite at his Cheshire mansion. A "source" told the Sun: "He is always playing his bongos."

Honestly, we didn't make that up.