Football Transfer Rumours: Liverpool in for Roque Santa Cruz?

Michael Mancienne to Chelsea | Mario Balotelli to West Ham | Matt Mills to Newcastle
So yesterday Dimitar Berbatov was spotted brazenly walking around Manchester in broad daylight, filling up his car with petrol, then coming out of the station carrying a plastic bag with some shopping in it. And all despite that penalty miss! Well, really!

Berbatov's terrible Wembley crime fills up quite a lot of otherwise empty space in today's papers. For it seems yesterday club telly channel MUTV received hundreds of calls from Manchester United fans with smacked arses for faces, whining on like toddlers who didn't quite make it to their Special Pot in time. They're upset that their club are now only in contention for the league and European Cup, having already won two trophies this season, and have decided to round on Berbatov for having the sheer gall to attempt a piece of skill, but fail to execute it exactly as he would have wished. Sometimes he must wonder why he bothers.

As does the Rumour Mill, incidentally, for today's pickings are slim. Here, look. Liverpool will be priced out of the market by Manchester City for Blackburn striker Roque Santa Cruz.

Wolves want Chelsea defender Michael Mancienne, but intend to keep schtum until Lionel Messi shaves a zero or two off his price tag next week.

West Ham are after Internazionale striker Mario Balotelli, who is considering leaving Italy after getting it in the neck from Juventus's racist goons.

Arsenal are interested in 15-year-old Brazilian starlet Wellington. It's not yet known whether the deal also includes his dog Boot, voiced by Leonard Rossiter.

Newcastle want Doncaster center-back Matt Mills, presumably for his experience of the Championship.

And Sir Alex Ferguson is kicking himself for picking that team last weekend. How do we know this? Because he spent all yesterday telling anyone who'd listen that he regrets nothing. He's Edith Piaf multiplied by Norman Lamont on the end of a stick, is Sir Alex.

Heard any transfer gossip yourself? No? Make some up, then, and whack it below. We're not fussy.

© Guardian News & Media 2008
Published: 4/21/2009
 
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