All the President's Emails
In a unique experiment, Barack Obama has agreed to copy G2 in on his otherwise highly confidential email exchanges
To: Michelle Obama <firstlady@whitehouse.gov>
Subject: Fwd: Re: Your eBay auction: Congratulations, your item sold! ("Antique penholder made from British gunship – unwanted gift from UK visitor")
See below – I got $300 for it! That's way preferable to just accumulating more clutter in the Oval Office. However, I'm not sure I agree with your suggestion to send out a press release to publicize this as an example of White House thriftiness in the face of a recession. The Brits are acting so pathetically needy at the moment, they'd probably have some kind of breakdown. Did you HEAR his speech to Congress? Desperation is so unattractive.
xB
To: VPOTUS <joe.biden@whitehouse.gov>
Subject: Re: "Sheriff Joe" – I just had this really great idea!!
Hi. Look, when I describe you in speeches as "Sheriff Joe" – the guy who's going to keep an eye on how the bailout money's spent, because "nobody messes with Joe", etc, etc – it's kind of a joke, to make your role more immediately understandable to the wider public. See? But, still, yes, if you really must get a special silver star badge made, wear a 10-gallon hat, clip handcuffs to your belt . . . whatever floats your boat, I guess. But only in the office, OK? Not in public. And definitely no to the idea of carrying a shotgun wherever you go – that's still illegal in DC.
Barack
To: Gordon Brown <browng@parliament.uk>
Subject: Re: Thank you SO, SO much for that 20-minute Q&A with the press
No problem, Gordon! Any time! I mean, not literally any time. But maybe again in a few years or something. In haste, Barack
To: Harry Reid <majority.leader@senate.gov>
Subject: Ted Kennedy
Harry, sorry to bother you with this, but he wants the brass plate on his office door changed to read "Sir Edward", and I promised I'd put in a good word. Could you sort that out? Apparently he's not technically entitled to do this, because he's not a Brit, but that whole UK honors system is basically a crock anyway so no harm done, right?
Much appreciated, Barack
PS. If you think this request's weird, remind me to tell you sometime about Joe's sheriff costume obsession . . .
To: Reggie Love <bodyman@barackobama.com>
Subject: Re: Washington Post story – "Greying Hair Shows Hardworking President Is Working Harder Than Ever To Solve Economic Crisis"
Your talcum powder idea was GENIUS. Thanks again. BHO
Subject: Fwd: Re: Your eBay auction: Congratulations, your item sold! ("Antique penholder made from British gunship – unwanted gift from UK visitor")
See below – I got $300 for it! That's way preferable to just accumulating more clutter in the Oval Office. However, I'm not sure I agree with your suggestion to send out a press release to publicize this as an example of White House thriftiness in the face of a recession. The Brits are acting so pathetically needy at the moment, they'd probably have some kind of breakdown. Did you HEAR his speech to Congress? Desperation is so unattractive.
xB
To: VPOTUS <joe.biden@whitehouse.gov>
Subject: Re: "Sheriff Joe" – I just had this really great idea!!
Hi. Look, when I describe you in speeches as "Sheriff Joe" – the guy who's going to keep an eye on how the bailout money's spent, because "nobody messes with Joe", etc, etc – it's kind of a joke, to make your role more immediately understandable to the wider public. See? But, still, yes, if you really must get a special silver star badge made, wear a 10-gallon hat, clip handcuffs to your belt . . . whatever floats your boat, I guess. But only in the office, OK? Not in public. And definitely no to the idea of carrying a shotgun wherever you go – that's still illegal in DC.
Barack
To: Gordon Brown <browng@parliament.uk>
Subject: Re: Thank you SO, SO much for that 20-minute Q&A with the press
No problem, Gordon! Any time! I mean, not literally any time. But maybe again in a few years or something. In haste, Barack
To: Harry Reid <majority.leader@senate.gov>
Subject: Ted Kennedy
Harry, sorry to bother you with this, but he wants the brass plate on his office door changed to read "Sir Edward", and I promised I'd put in a good word. Could you sort that out? Apparently he's not technically entitled to do this, because he's not a Brit, but that whole UK honors system is basically a crock anyway so no harm done, right?
Much appreciated, Barack
PS. If you think this request's weird, remind me to tell you sometime about Joe's sheriff costume obsession . . .
To: Reggie Love <bodyman@barackobama.com>
Subject: Re: Washington Post story – "Greying Hair Shows Hardworking President Is Working Harder Than Ever To Solve Economic Crisis"
Your talcum powder idea was GENIUS. Thanks again. BHO
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