Deja Vu All Over Again As Gordon Dances on and on

The news burst upon us just before prime minister's questions. It had all gone beyond a joke, he had said. There was a real chance of him winning and that would be a disaster. It was time for him to admit he'd enjoyed the experience, bow out, and leave the field for someone who could do the job properly.

Some might have thought that Gordon Brown could be about to take a hint from John Sergeant's shock decision, but we were not so lucky. Instead the prime minister looks as if he will go on and on, ignoring the public's wishes and the vilification of the professional critics. Up in the VIP gallery Peter Mandelson was watching. He is a great Strictly Come Dancing fan and it is rumored that he might be called upon to replace Sergeant. He and his partner could be the first gay couple on the show, which would be satisfyingly progressive and inclusive.

Down below we seemed to be trapped in a Groundhog Day time warp or, as Sam Goldwyn said, "it was deja vu all over again". They kept trading exactly the same quotes they had swapped when Gordon got back from the G20 summit this week. Philip Dunne repeated Gordon's old line about a weak currency reflecting a weak government. Gordon responded by quoting Lady Thatcher yet again: trying to help speculators talk sterling down was most unBritish. It was like some terrible dream - would we have this selfsame debate every single day?

David Cameron said the banks should lend more money at better rates. He seemed to be asking for a sort of national bank to dish out the money. Then he quoted Lord Mandelson - "not a man known for his candor" - who had said that if the government raised taxes now there would have to be a "structural adjustment" later on. In plain English, that meant higher taxes.

Peter Mandelson is not used to being accused of telling the truth. But he is also good at hiding his true feelings. He leaned forward, a thoughtful chin on his hand, like a vulture trying to decide whether to have Béarnaise or the pepper sauce with his gnu carcase.

Gordon Brown fought back. The Tories were isolated. Every major political party in the world disagreed with them. The prime minister's strategy is to make the opposition look like some kind of weird cult, living in their own compound, cut off from reality.

Mr Cameron tried again. He quoted an earlier Gordo quote: "Unfunded tax promises simply do not add up." He went on, "You don't agree with your chancellor, you don't agree with you trade secretary - do you agree with yourself?"

That gag put the Tories in a very good mood, and the session was rounded off when Gordon Prentice raised yet another failed education computer system. The Tories shouted the name of the children's secretary, loudly, over and over. Technically the computer failure is not his pigeon, but they just adore shouting "Balls, Balls, Balls!" at the top of their voices.

Up in the press gallery I wanted to hold up placards marked "1" or "2", but I seemed to have left them behind.