Pick a Hand ...
Miranda Sawyer: Surgeons mistakenly hacking off healthy body parts aren't the only ones confused by a basic question: do you know your left from right?
According to the chief medical officer's report, far too many operations are taking place where the surgeon gets seriously medieval, sorry, medical on the wrong side of the patient, drilling and cutting merrily away into the healthy right side of the brain, say, when it was the left that was a problem. These are errors so basic they'd make you cry if they hadn't removed your good eye. And except for the fact that, I think, they show up an everyday problem that needs solving.
Left and right are easy when you're thinking about yourself and your own body parts. But when you're labeling other people's, it can be confusing. If you don't agree, get a mate to face you and quickly point to their right arm. Got that one OK? Of course you did. Then consider your bed. If you share it with someone, think of which side you sleep on. Is it the right, or the left? Because as far as I and my husband are concerned, we both sleep on the right. I think I sleep on the right hand side of the bed, because if you stand at the bottom of the bed when both of us are in it, I'm the body on the right. The hub, however, thinks that he sleeps on the right side of the bed because when we're in it, and lying on our backs, I'm on his left. Though, of course, if we were lying on our fronts, I'd be on his right. Confused? At least you're not wielding a scalpel. Are you?
I once snapped my Achilles tendon, which requires an operation and half a year of crutch-hobbling, plaster-casts, physio etc. Apart from giving me a new appreciation of decently made pavements, it did also keep me alert to the kind of problems the CMO is highlighting. Once, when I went to have my plaster changed, the nurse started putting the new one on the wrong leg. I'm convinced it's because, when I was lying in front of her, my left leg was on her right. The notes said right leg, and off she went…
Maybe all medical notes should read "patient's right knee" rather than just "right knee". Maybe someone should just mark the area to be operated upon with a big X and an arrow marked "Insert Drill Here". Hey, I'm no doctor. But if anyone can solve the argument as to who sleeps on which side of the bed in our house, I'd be grateful.
Left and right are easy when you're thinking about yourself and your own body parts. But when you're labeling other people's, it can be confusing. If you don't agree, get a mate to face you and quickly point to their right arm. Got that one OK? Of course you did. Then consider your bed. If you share it with someone, think of which side you sleep on. Is it the right, or the left? Because as far as I and my husband are concerned, we both sleep on the right. I think I sleep on the right hand side of the bed, because if you stand at the bottom of the bed when both of us are in it, I'm the body on the right. The hub, however, thinks that he sleeps on the right side of the bed because when we're in it, and lying on our backs, I'm on his left. Though, of course, if we were lying on our fronts, I'd be on his right. Confused? At least you're not wielding a scalpel. Are you?
I once snapped my Achilles tendon, which requires an operation and half a year of crutch-hobbling, plaster-casts, physio etc. Apart from giving me a new appreciation of decently made pavements, it did also keep me alert to the kind of problems the CMO is highlighting. Once, when I went to have my plaster changed, the nurse started putting the new one on the wrong leg. I'm convinced it's because, when I was lying in front of her, my left leg was on her right. The notes said right leg, and off she went…
Maybe all medical notes should read "patient's right knee" rather than just "right knee". Maybe someone should just mark the area to be operated upon with a big X and an arrow marked "Insert Drill Here". Hey, I'm no doctor. But if anyone can solve the argument as to who sleeps on which side of the bed in our house, I'd be grateful.

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