If It's Good Enough for Footy...

Grass-court tennis's retreat into Europe's north-west corner - only Newport, Rhode Island, stages an event elsewhere - has concerned Cyclops for a while. Wimbledon gained its reputation when the tennis world was overwhelmingly green and it rather diminishes the tournament that its kingdom is now so paltry. Francesco Ricci Bitti, the president of the International Tennis Federation, agrees that hard courts' advance at grass's expense is regrettable and tells this column that it is up to the players to save the game's oldest surface, formerly used for three slam events.

The problem of maintaining grass is what has caused the surface's decline. Drastic action is clearly needed if the surface is to be saved - and it is just possible that football has provided the answer. Fifa, that sport's ruling body, are relaxing their position on artificial grass now that the real thing can be so closely replicated - England played their Euro 2008 qualifier against Russia in Moscow last October on the synthetic surface FieldTurf. And if it is good enough for footy, why not for tennis? The make-believe grasses produced now have overcome many of the problems previously associated with them and are said to be stable, firm not spongy, non-abrasive and uniform in traction. Nigel Fletcher, Fifa's turf expert, is satisfied that the problems have been sorted out and says the biggest obstacle that remains is 'a psychological barrier of player perception and coach perception'.

WHAT A LIBERTY

Putting down non-destructible grass at Wimbledon would open up all kinds of possibilities - although Cyclops expects it would be several years, centuries possibly, before the All England Club even contemplated what is happening at the US Open's venue in New York next month. Flushing Meadows' main stadium court will stage the first basketball match played outdoors in the Women's NBA, when New York Liberty take on Indiana Fever.

SILENT SELES FAILS TO IMPRESS

At least Monica Seles managed not to grunt, but it did not save the 1992 Wimbledon runner-up from early elimination when she appeared on US television recently in Dancing with the Stars (their version of Strictly Come Dancing). 'Monica, you know I love you, but I have to tell the truth,' judge Bruno Tonioli said. 'It seems to me sometimes you're running on alternating currents. You have to connect to the music.' Tonioli also told Seles that although she started well, giving the dance 'a Grace Kelly-like feel', her performance 'turned a little bit into Grace Adler' - a reference to the gauche and blundering Grace of the TV sitcom Will & Grace

While on the subject of Seles, here's Cyclops's favorite tennis teaser: name the only other winner of a grand slam singles title with a palindromic surname. Answer below.

MURRAY ON THE RACK

Americans take a rather less serious view of our great hope than we do. US magazine Tennis features Andy Murray on three different pages this month, none of them in the context of what a fine prospect our boy is. First, a picture gallery has a shot of him looking as though he would rather be anywhere else than next to a Miami Dolphins cheerleader, who has managed to get the heel of her boot higher than Murray's head. Next is a photo of him with big hair. 'Here's some advice free of charge,' it says. 'Lather, Rinse. Repeat.'

Finally, 'Head Case Studies' features players whose minds are their biggest enemy. And, yup, Our Andy pops up, with the Swiss fruitcake Patty Schnyder in the 'Tortured Artist' category. It says: 'Murray's brilliantly constructed points are often offset by moments of whimsy and addiction to drop shots. He seems literally tortured, acting out his frustration for all (including his opponent) to see.' No doubt Murray's thrilled to be making such a big impression on the Yanks.

Answer: Lottie Dod