Bucks' Land of Make-believe

Lee Marshall, a street trader, was unaware that Wycombe survived a foot-and-mouth scare near the Wanderers' ground earlier this week. But, as another group of shoppers bustled past the town's Guildhall without a second glance at his stall containing hats, shirts and jesters' caps in the Wanderers' two-tone blue, he must have wondered if the ministry of agriculture officials who visited the town had vaccinated everyone against Cup fever.

"I've only sold one hat," moaned Marshall, who had driven down from Robin Hood country in search of his slice of Wycombe's FA Cup semi-final cake. "I've sold more West Ham gear in the center of Nottingham."

On initial examination it might seem impossible to diagnose even a rise in temperature in High Wycombe over tomorrow's big match with Liverpool at Villa Park, let alone a full-blown fever. A single banner flies almost apologetically in front of the Guildhall, and WH Smith's window display consists of nothing more than a dozen balloons and a couple of flags.

It is not that Wycombe folk are unexcited about the prospect of their club reaching the FA Cup final. They are just exhausted after a run that began back in November with a first-round tie against Harrow Borough, and they also have their own, more genteel way of celebrating.

Councilor David Cox, chairman of the Wycombe district council, says: "I went to a concert on the night of the Leicester win and I said to the orchestra conductor at the interval that he ought to pay tribute to the achievement. He wasn't sure but at the end they all sang For They Are Jolly Good Fellows."

Wycombe people are also wary of outsiders, which is why Marshall was having such a bad day. It was a different story at The Wanderers In The Town store in the Octagon shopping center, where a video of the Leicester game was on a permanent loop and where the manageress, Kerry Payne, reports that trade has almost doubled in the past three months.

She said: "We normally only have two girls working here. But we've had three of us working six days a week since the win over Wolves in the fourth round at the end of January. When we were given 5,000 tickets to sell, there was a 4-hour queue which stretched out of here, through the bus station and halfway to Tesco."

Councilor Cox says: "The Wanderers' success has brightened up the whole area. My theme for the year is for people to smile more and be more courteous to one another. The club have assisted me no end."

Wycombe's triumphs, he says, have put them on the map, though the town was once nearly wiped off it. Back in the 40s, when it discovered gridlock long before the term was invented, the government made one of those Mr Cholmondley-Warner-style information films entitled Wycombe: The Town That Almost Died Of Traffic.

There will not be a car on the streets next Thursday if Wycombe lose because Cox has already signed the road-closure notices to facilitate an open-bus celebration by the players, followed by a civic reception. But, as Chris Tarrant would say, he does not want to give them that.

Cox says: "If they get to the final or win the Cup, we will have to think of something better. But I don't think we can give the players the freedom of the town because we looked into that after Steve Redgrave won in Sydney."

More than 100 coaches will roll out of High Wycombe tomorrow, carrying most of the 19,000 fans. Among them will be the club mascot Bodger, though this is not because Wycombe has a tradition of turning out cowboy builders. The town is actually famous for its furniture making and bodger is a Buckinghamshire word for chair-leg turner. Hence also the club's Chair boys nickname, having been founded by a group of furniture workers in 1884. Alan Hutchinson came a bit after that but, as the club's longest-serving employee, he will get particular satisfaction when he takes his seat at Villa Park.

He says: "It seems incredible when you think that in 1985-86 we were relegated from the Gola League, which preceded the Vauxhall Conference, after one season. It took the statisticians 10 minutes to work out we had been relegated by 0.1 of a goal because three other teams finished on level points with us. That was our darkest hour."

Wycombe will probably have to find a new hero tomorrow since Roy Essandoh, the Irish Ghanaian who was recruited via the internet, is not expected to be selected. So perhaps the mantle will fall on another set of unlikely shoulders like George Clegg, on loan from Manchester United, or Guy Whittingham, signed on a free from Portsmouth on transfer deadline day.

The players are just back from a week in Mijas, Spain, which was supposed to be a bonding session but ended up in a Ryder Cup style, North v South golf competition, which the northern boys won. Their captain Steve Brown says: "It did us a lot of good. People ask if we will be overawed but most of us have never been in this position and are unlikely to be in it again. So we won't have time to be overawed."

The side will be led out by the manager Lawrie Sanchez's five-year-old son Jack, who is one of the mascots. Sanchez, who has reorganized his life around his son after the death of his wife Heather, said: "It will be nice for him to be a part of it. He's asked me if he can have the Cup if we win it and I told him he could.

"Ninety-nine times out of a 100 this game is a formality. They're one of the biggest teams in the world, we're the biggest team in Buckinghamshire. But you get very few life or career-defining moments and this is one for my players. At Leicester we had to lead them but now it's the other way round. They're confident they can do it."

Wycombe, who will run out with their famous clawed-swan symbol on their chests, are not just in it for the glory, since the club, having made £1m from the Cup run, have promised to double their £1,000 appearance money if they win. In case of failure, though, they should remember that the swan, according to mythology, is said to sing mellifluously in the minutes before its death.