Portsmouth v Fulham - As It Happened

Kick-off is at 3pm, but Barry will be here with all the build-up to this afternoon's relegation bonanza from 2.45pm. Click this bad boy to stay on top of all the goals as they go in around the country, while a firm click on this link will take you to our all-singing, all-dancing Premier League table, that may not actually sing or dance, but will almost certainly update in-running.

Pre-match reading

Click here to find out why Observer columnist Paul Wilson hopes Fulham stay up today, then read this interview with Portsmouth owner Alexandre Gaydamak by the same newspaper's Jamie Jackson.

Portsmouth: Ashdown, Johnson, Distin, Pamarot, Hreidarsson, Utaka, Diarra, Pedro Mendes, Kranjcar, Defoe, Kanu. Subs: Begovic, Baros, Muntari, Davis, Wilson.

Fulham: Keller, Stalteri, Hughes, Hangeland, Konchesky, Davies, Murphy, Bullard, Dempsey, Kamara, McBride. Subs: Warner, Bocanegra, Healy, Nevland, Andreasen.

Referee: Mark Clattenburg (Tyne & Wear)

The teams

Pre-match niceties

The teams emerge from the tunnel into the Fratton Park bear-pit, with Fulham knowing that a win today will keep them in the Premier League and consign Reading and Birmingham City to the Championship. Fulham could lose and still stay up if Reading and Birmingham City get beaten as well. Portsmouth have little to play for today, and Harry Redknapp's troops will almost certainly have one, if not both, eyes on next Saturday's FA Cup final against Cardiff City.

1 min: Portsmouth get proceedings underway, with their players kitted out in a predominantly white away kit. Fulham's players wear red and black shirts, black shorts and red and white socks. From just inside the Portsmouth half, Jimmy Bullard launches a long ball towards the penalty spot, for Diomansy Kamara to try and get on the end of. The striker fails to make contact, but only narrowly.

2 min: Setanta's commentator tells a good yarn about Fulham owner Mohamed Al Fayad going to deliver a rallying speech to his team before the game. Unfortunately, he was flanked by so many security goons that half the players had to leave the dressing room so that his entire entourage could be accommodated.

4 min: Simon Davis pokes a cross goalwards, which brings a smart save out of Jamie Ashdown in the Portsmouth goal.

7 min: Free-kick for Fulham, a long way out and over by the left touchline. Jimmy Bullard sends the ball into the penalty area, but it's too high for Brede Hangeland to get on the end of.

9 min: Free-kick for Portsmouth, a couple of yards outside the Fulham penalty area and right of centre. Jermain Defoe places it, only to drive his effort straight into the wall.

10 min: THERE'S BEEN A GOAL ... at Upton Park. West Ham lead Aston Villa 1-0. Hats off to Nobby Solano, who's scored the first Premier League goal of the day.

12 min: Niko Kranjcar fails to score the second by sending a diagonal 25-yard screamer whistling over the Fulham crossbar.

13 mins: Time for some readers' correspondence, eh?

[Minute-by-minute reporter shuffles off to inbox, only to find it barer than Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard.]

Oh.

14 min: James Harper has put Reading one up against Derby County, a goal which drops Fulham into the relegation zone.

16 min: An infringement by Jimmy Bullard results in a Portsmouth free-kick about 30 yards from goal, left of centre. The wall jumps over Niko Kranjcar's low drive, but Fulham goalkeeper Kasey Keller gets down low to his right and saves well.

19 min: Under pressure from Hermann Hreidarsson while attempting to latch on to a beautifully dinked ball from Brian McBride, Clint Dempsey trips over his own feet in the Portsmouth penalty area and appeals for a spot-kick, which is not forthcoming. Hreisdarsson certainly didn't trip Dempsey, but he did have a handful of his shirt in the build-up to the incident.

22 min: A lovely first touch from Kanu allows the Portsmouth striker to turn and shoot from about 15 yards. Brede Hangelaand blocks bravely.

24 min: "Other than 'come on Fulhamerica!' all i can provide is this," writes Mark Bechtel, who appears unconvinced that his own email is better than no emails at all. "As a sunderland fan, are you hoping Reading gets sent down so we can spend the whole summer reading about Roy's constant and unsuccessful efforts to prise Stephen Hunt away from the Royals?"

26 min: There's something of a lull. To be honest, the whole game has been one long lull so far, with brief and intermittent patches of non-lull. Fulham certainly aren't playing like a team that are fighting for their Premiership lives.

28 min: Fop-watch: the Setanta cameras cut to celebrity Fulham fan Hugh Grant, before panning slowly along his row of seats and coming to rest on the moustachioed visage of dishy Des Lynam. Apologies if this minute-by-minute report is starting to resemble Heat magazine.

30 min: More bad news for Fulham, as David Murphy scores for Birmingham against Blackburn at St Andrews. With Reading also one up, as things stand, Birmingham and Fulham would get relegated.

33 min: For Portsmouth, John Utaka does well to scoff a low ball across the face of the Fulham goal. He needn't have bothered - there are no Portsmouth players on hand to poke it home.

34 min: Everyone in our office runs to look at the television Scott Murray is watching. Everyone, that is, except me. Apparently Paul Scholes should have got a second yellow card, but didn't. On a hot day like today, I wouldn't run anywhere to see Paul Scholes not get a yellow card.

37 min: "It's a nice day here in Brooklyn, and I'm sitting in front of my laptop hoping that Fulhamerica can avoid the drop," writes Aaron Warshaw, in Brooklyn, where it's nice. "It's all up to Bullard and McBride, no? Thrilling 86th minute goal in the offing? Or is it going to be heartbreak?"

41 min: Jermain Defoe beats the Fulham centre-halves for pace as he races on to a through-ball, which he then flicks diagonally over the onrushing Kasey Keller. The angle is quite narrow and his effort goes high and wide.

43 min: Now the camera cuts away to two topless Pompey fans who are drumming furiously in the stand. They're working up more of a sweat than many of the players they're attempting to exhort. [Aware of the potential for a catastrophic typographical error, minute-by-minute reporter checks spelling of the word 'drumming'.]

44 min: A Pedro Mendes snap-shot from just outside the penalty area takes a wicked deflection and completely wrong-foots Kasey Keller in the Fulham goal. Wide, but not by much.

Half-time: As things stand, Fulham are going down with Birmingham City, but a goal would save them. There's no urgency about them at all, though. Maybe it's the heat - that's definitely why there's no urgency about this report.

Half-time query: "Of the three teams in danger today, Fulham seem to be the team that'd be most hurt by relegation," writes Jacob Flanagan. "Do you think Fulham could end up pulling a Leeds if they go down?"I don't know, Jacob, but I'd imagine the aesthetic quality of the ladies Fulham players pull in trendy London nightclubs might deteriorate.

Another half-time query: "Do you think the quantity of Americans on the Fulham team is the reason they're about to go down?" asks Michael Rennick. Well Michael, I'm wholeheartedly in favour of blaming Americans for everything bad that happens in the world, even on the rare occasions that the misfortune in question is not their fault. However, I think it would be a bit unfair to hold Messrs Keller, Dempsey and McBride solely responsible for the pickle the Cottagers have found themselves in this afternoon. George Dubya and Donald Rumsfeld should shoulder their fair share of the blame as well.

46 min: "If they don't start making chances very soon, you'll see David Healy coming on," says Setanta pundit Steve McManaman, who's grown a spare chin since packing up his boots. Within seconds of the kick-off, Niko Kranjcar forces Kasey Keller to save a low drive from the edge of the penalty area.

46 min: Art Durbano is here with a more sensible reply to Jacob Flanagan's query than I was able to provide. "I'd luv to see Fulham stay up because I fear that if they go down, they'll plummet the way Coventry,Southampton & Leicester have," he says. "Bongo FC is a big club, and they've been up and down before. Reading (who right now looks like the survivor of Stay-Up Sunday (TM))is well-run enough that they could come rightback. I don't see Fulham being able to do the same."

49 min: Pedro Mendes tries to pick out Glen Johnson with a beautifully chipped pass from the middle of the field, out wide to the corner flag. The ball beats Johnson to the endline - goal-kick for Portsmouth. At St Andrews, Blackburn have just equalised against Birmingham City ... for all the difference it'll make to Fulham, who still need to win to stay up.

51 min: Jimmy Bullard wins a corner for Fulham when he should have passed to Brian McBride, who was unmarked in the centre of the Portsmouth penalty area. Nothing comes from the corner and Portsmouth attack the Fulham end, prompting Aaron Hughes to concede a free-kick this much outside the penalty area, straight in front of goal.

53 min: Jermain Defoe gets the ball up over the wall, but not down under the crossbar.

55 min:Corner for Fulham, conceded by Hermann Hreidarsson. Jimmy Bullard sends the ball whistling across the Portsmouth penalty area, but it's too high for Brian McBride's leap.

57 min: Fulham goalkeeper Kasey Keller palms away a Niko Kranjcar effort from just outside the penalty area.

58 min: Aaron Warshaw writes with this fascinating bit of trivia: "With Richard Dunne getting a red card for Man City and looking at thiscryptic table here, it looks like the teams below Man City on the Fair Play chart are Everton, who will likely qualify for the Uefa Cup anyway, and below them ... it's Fulham! That's right, there's a slight chance that Fulham could get relegated today and still qualify for the Uefa Cup. Fair play indeed."

62 min: Throw-in for Portsmouth, deep in Fulham territory. The Cottagers clear their lines, courtesy of Davies, Dempsey and Diarra.

64 min: While I Roy Hodgson has a good record as a manager and he seems like a very nice bloke, I'm beginning to wonder if Roy Hodgson may have forgotten to tell Fulham's players that they need to win today to avoid relegation. Judging by the manner in which they're going about their business, my guess is that he might not have. They're just going through the motions here, which is extraordinary under the circumstance.

67 min: Diomansy Kamara does well to win a free-kick a couple of feet outside the Portsmouth penalty area, to the left of the D. It's definitely Bullardable.

69 min: Bullard's free-kick is deflected out for a corner, from which nothing comes. At Lack Of Pride Park, Reading go 3-0 up against Derby County, which means they'll avoid the drop if Fulham don't win here.

72 min: Portsmouth substitutions: Kanu and Mendes off, Davis and Baros on. Fulham substitution: Dempsey off, Nevland on.

74 min: Somebody's finally flicked the switch. Fulham go close three times in quick succession, with McBride missing the easiest of the chances; a header. Meanwhile at St Andrews, Birmingham have pulled ahead of Blackburn again, with a Cameron Jerome goal.

GOAL! Portsmouth 0-1 Fulham (Murphy 75) Fulham win a free-kick on the right wing, which Jimmy Bullard sends into the mixer. With the Portsmouth defence fast asleep, the unchallenged Danny Murphy plants a bullet-header past Jamie Ashdown from about seven yards. As things stand, Fulham are safe and it's Reading and Birmingham City that are heading for the abyss.

79 min: Fulham win a throw-in, deep in Portsmouth territory. Koncheskey throws to Murphy, who picks out Erik Nevland just outside the penalty area with a beautiful pass. The substitute's first touch is wonderful and allows him to peel off his marker to try and make room for a shot, but he's illegally held for long enough for the ball to roll out of harm's way. He appeals for a free-kick, Mark Clattenburg waves play on.

83 min: Portsmouth substitution: Sulley Muntari on, Lassana Diarra off. Fulham susbtitution: Leon Andreason on, Diomansy Kamara off.

87 min: Middlesbrough 7-0 Manchester City. And to think some pundits think City owner Thaksin Shinawatra doesn't know what he's doing, eh?

88 min: I emit a sort of strangled "PENAGHAGHAAAHHHH!" sound as the referee blows for an infringement in the Fulham penalty area. It's not a penalty, he was penalising somebody for being offside.

90 min: There'll be three minutes of squeaky bum time for Fulham's manager, his players and their fans. If they win, they stay up. If they don't win, they go down.

90+3 min: As my computer goes on the blink in time added on at the end of the Premier League, Mark Clattenburg blows for full-time. Fulham have completed a remarkable escape and are safe, while Reading and Birmingham are relegated with Derby County. This completes an astonishing comeback for Fulham, who bookies reckoned were 1-50 (that's 50-1 on) to be relegated three weeks ago.