Newcastle 0-2 Chelsea - As It Happened

Preamble: Afternoon all. I'm hoping you all know the significance of this one by now, but if not here's the skinny: if Chelsea lose, Manchester United effectively win the title, given that they'll have a three point lead and already have a goal difference of +3,781 to Chelsea's +quite a lot less, it'll be as good as over.



And here's the flabby: Really Chelsea need to win, because United aren't going to lose at Wigan. They probably won't draw there either, to be honest, but there you go.



Team news: Avram Grant has only once before started with Nicolas Anelka, Didier Drogba and Florent Malouda as his attacking trident. That occasion was the Milk Cup final. Yup, the one where Chelsea lost to Tottenham.

Newcastle: Harper, Beye, Taylor, Faye, Jose Enrique, Geremi, Butt, Barton, Viduka, Owen, Martins. Subs: Forster, Cacapa, Duff, N'Zogbia, Smith.

Chelsea: Cech, Ferreira, Terry, Carvalho, Bridge, Essien, Obi, Ballack, Anelka, Drogba, Malouda. Subs: Cudicini, Shevchenko, Lampard, Joe Cole, Alex.

Referee: Steve Bennett (Kent)



An email Pete Boyce is at his desk in Chicago pretending to do some work. "I can't wait to see Newcastle end the title race. This will definitely be the most fans behind the Toon ever... Howay the lads!"



I've just been looking at the form guide ... And you won't be surprised to hear that Chelsea are in better shape than anyone else in the league right now, having won five and drawn one of their last six games. But who is in second, I hear you ask. Newcastle - with four wins and two draws. They have a rather impressive goal difference of +10 in those games too.



1 min We're underway, with Ferreira punting a long speculative pass down the right wing and straight off for a goal-kick.



2 mins "In France we're all working, you should feel sorry for us," wails Philip Hall - who has presumably heard that all of Britain is currently enjoying a Bank Holiday. Apart from me. "Except that of course we had May 1 off. Then we get the 8th off too. Then the 12th. And most of us will have taken the two Fridays too. Hard month, May."



4 mins Michael Essien hops to the sideline to receive a spot of treatment after knacking his foot while kicking Joey Barton. Free-kick to Newcastle about 35 yards from goal ...



5 mins Which Geremi hoists up and over the bar. And probably a little wide, just for good measure.



6 mins Ooh - first proper chance of the match as Nicky Butt lofts the ball into the area for Michael Owen, who had snuck round the back of Terry but couldn't keep his shot down as he volleyed it first time from near the penalty spot.



8 mins "If Newcastle wins, I have promised to buy pizza for my co-workers tomorrow to celebrate our two-peat," chimes Lyzette Austen. Because that will incentivise them to support harder?



9 mins Anelka flicks a short cross on to the head of Malouda just inside the area, but it pings off the top of his head and over.



10 mins Obafemi Martins jukes and weaves his way across the faces of John Terry and Ricardo Carvalho 30 yard from goal, before scuffing a drive fairly meekly into the arms of Petr Cech.



13 mins Martins is at it again, drawing an gratuitously loud roar from the home support as he pootles across the half-way before running straight into John Terry and losing possession.



14 mins Geremi works his way down to the goal line on the right hand side before cutting back a particularly woeful cross to someone in a Chelsea shirt about 30 yards behind him.



16 mins Right, this game is beginning to settle into a pattern that goes something like this: Martins sprints into Chelsea half, runs out of ideas and lose possession. Chelsea pass the ball slowly into Newcastle half, run out of ideas and lose possession. Edge of your seat stuff.



18 mins Chelsea win a free-kick 25 yards out on the left. Wayne Bridge demands to take it, places it carefully, eyes his target and ... wellies the ball straight into the wall at belly height.



19 mins A significant number of readers have emailed me to say they are in America and there is no bank holiday there either. Don't you feel better for knowing that?



21 mins For a team supposedly chasing a Premier League title, Chelsea seem spectacularly short of anything resembling urgency. Nearly half-way through the first 45 and they're yet to have a shot on target.



23 mins Habib Beye skews an ever-so-slightly ambitious drive roughly 40 yards over the crossbar from roughly 40 yards out.



24 mins "I hope the bar codes can at least get a draw," ponders Manu Talanki, who I'm going to guess may be a Manchester United fan, from America. "Also, I am struggling to come with an excuse to skip work on May 21. I already used up two excuses for the semi-finals. So any suggestions would be welcome!" Anyone care to help Manu out?



26 mins Michael Essien becomes the latest to screw a shot wide from the edge of the box.



28 mins How did that not wind up going in? Absolutely delightful ball forward from Enrique finds Obafemi Martins shrugging off Carvalho as he barrels into the area. He loses his footing, though, and Cech gets out to parry it off his boot. Viduka tries to seize the loose ball, but only succeeds in pin balling it back out to Owen off Carvalho, and Micky then sees his shot blocked on the line by Terry. Superb effort by the Chelsea captain to get back.



30 mins Enrique tries to repeat the trick with a raking ball forward down the left, but this time Chelsea manage to hack it away. Newcastle have their tails up.



33 mins Wee Micky rebounds about five yards backwards through the air and collapses in after running into Terry's chest just inside the Chelsea half. Referee Steve Bennett sees fit to reward Terry with a yellow card, which is probably a little harsh - Owen had just put the ball past him and I'm not convinced Terry could really have got out of the way in time to avoid obstructing him.



35 mins My word that is a shoddy, shoddy effort from Michael Ballack. The German was presented with the ball inside the area by a very tidy little side-footed pass from Michael Essien, who nudged the ball out to his left as he ran at the Newcastle defence on the edge of the D, but sliced his left-footed effort wide from 10 yards and failed to even make Harper make a save.



37 mins And now Anelka hacks one wide of the other post, letting the ball run too far across his body before pulling the trigger. At least his miss was from five yards outside the area.



39 mins Chelsea are beginning to build sustained pressure here, but aside from that Ballack chance they haven't really had any clear sights of goal. Mikel decides to let fly from 30 yards, but his effort soars a long way high of the target.



42 mins Newcastle finally break, stringing together a very tidy counter that starts with Michael Essien swivelling and laying the ball out to Enrique on the left, but ends when Michael Owen fails to out-jump people four times his size in the area as he looks to meet the ensuing cross.



44 mins Owen is lurking again as Barton swings another ball towards the middle of the area from deep on the left, but once again it's cut out.



45 mins On the evidence so far, Beye might want to curb his attacking instincts. Seizing on a loose ball in the area after Chelsea fail to clear a long ball forward at the first attempt, Beye neglects the option of passing to either of two attendant team-mates and instead crushes the ball straight ahead in the direction he is looking. Which happens to be pretty much straight at the corner flag.



Peepety-Peep! And without any further bother, that's the half. Back in a tick with half-time thoughts and emails.



A question "Has Drogba touched the ball yet," demands Adi. No, I answer. By which, of course, I mean yes, he probably has touched the ball, but he hasn't done anything meaningful with it. To his credit, however, I can say that I haven't seen Didier fall over once yet.



Excuses to miss work for Manu

"In one of the Simpson's episodes Homer manages to wangle two days off in one week due to the "Hamburgler's birthday" - Cian O Súilleabhái, Dublin.

"Manu could say he needs the day off to change his name to Manu Nited" - Fred Lane, Stockholm.

"Manu should do what I've done every year for the CL final since I can remember. Be honest. Employers in North America often find a love of football quirky and a sign of healthy eclecticism and broad outlook that is an asset to any company. Either that or make yourself puke in the office" - Richard Whittall, Toronto

"Has Manu ever thought of just taking the day off rather than skipping work and having it deducted?" Kevin Titman, France



Back to the football Right then, 45 minutes remain for Chelsea to give themselves a fighting chance of winning the title next week. As I said at the beginning, a point would take it to the last weekend, but realistically Chelsea have to win to have any hope of actually getting ahead of Man Utd and so far they've really shown very little attacking intent, which is disappointing. Grant already has Anelka and Drogba on the pitch, which both limits his options and is probably part of the problem. Avram Grant's still got Joe Cole and Frank Lampard to bring on mind, and it'll be interesting to see how long he does leave it before making a change.



46 mins We're off again, with Newcastle sending on Alan Smith to replace Viduka, who apparently took a kick to the achilles at some point.



47 mins Martins and Ferreira go down in a heap just outside the left-hand edge of Chelsea's area, and the free-kick goes Chelsea's way. Ferreira rolls around for a few seconds before realizing he isn't hurt after all and bouncing to his feet.



49 mins Chelsea win the first corner of the half, but nothing comes of it.



51 mins Chelsea do look to be playing with a little more urgency already this half, which has been spent almost exclusively so far in Newcastle territory, but without any real openings. Drogba is buffeted off the ball as he tries to pick out Michael Ballack on the edge of the area.



53 mins Drogba gets the ball into Ballack's feet this time with an extremely cheeky little back heeled flick on the edge of the area, but Taylor is across in double-quick time to put it behind for a corner ...



54 mins ... Which John Terry heads against the bar! Drogba almost manages to hold off three defenders as he vies for position to win the ball as it comes down inside the area, but Newcastle eventually manage to hack it behind for another corner ...



55 mins ... But this one is cut out by a defender at the near post.



57 mins: A few of you have been writing in to complain about the picture of Chelsea celebrating that was accompanying this article, so I've changed it for something more neutral.



59 mins: Chelsea pick up a free-kick in a handy position after Faye brings down Malouda on the edge of the box. Faye picks up a booking for his trouble.



Goal! Newcastle 0-1 Chelsea (Michael Ballack - 60 mins) And there you have it, Chelsea break the deadlock with a very tidy set-piece indeed. I have to admit having been a touch surprised to see Drogba step up to take the free-kick rather than getting involved in the box, but he floated the ball right onto the head of Ballack, who timed his run to the near post perfectly to get in front of two Newcastle defenders and flick the ball across Harper and into the net.



63 mins After a tidy enough first 45, Newcastle have barely even left there half since the re-start. Martins and Owen are capable of scoring if given the chances, but can Newcastle even get the ball to them right now?



65 mins Chelsea win another corner, but Nicky Butt manages to hack it away.



66 mins And there's the first change for Chelsea, Frank Lampard coming on to replace Nicolas Anelka. I doubt that they will, but for the record I will say I think it would be a mistake for Chelsea to sit back now given the momentum they have going forward. Newcastle's defence look ragged.



68 mins Dangerous looking free-kick on the edge of the D for Newcastle after Carvalho fouls Michael Owen when there was really no need at all. Geremi is standing over it ...



69 mins ... And Malouda decides to ignore conventional "rules" and charge the ball down about one yard from where it left Geremi's boot. He picks up a booking for his troubles and Geremi will take again ...



70 mins ... But Geremi still can't get his effort over the wall. Chelsea clear.



72 mins Double let-off for Chelsea! First Martins has a shot deflected narrowly wide from the edge of the area and then Michael Owen is this far away from getting his boot to a bouncing ball about eight yards from goal with Cech stranded.



73 mins And then, of course, we go straight down the other end, where Ballack's swerving drive forces Harper into a somewhat uncomfortable-looking punch before the keeper gathers at the second attempt. If it had been a little further either side of him that might have been game over.



76 mins Well there were a few frantic minutes there, but Chelsea look to have taken the sting out of proceedings again and even win a free-kick about 25 yards out on the right, which Malouda tries to swing in, but Newcastle clear.



77 mins A spot of nonsense breaks out as Carvalho goes down apparently injured on the edge of the Newcastle box, and Chelsea's players decide to ignore him and play on. Newcastle then win the ball and decide that they too will play on, at which point the Chelsea supporters in the crowd erupt in outrage. Chelsea swiftly win the ball back, but still refuse to put the ball out for a good 30 seconds.



79 mins I have to admit I was a little skeptical of Carvalho's injury, especially when Terry ran over and started shouting at him as he limped off, but Grant has swiftly pulled him off in favor of Alex.



80 mins Lampard works the ball out to Ferreira on the right, but his cut-back is easily dealt with.



Goal! Newcastle 0-2 Chelsea (Florent Malouda - 82 mins) And that is almost certainly that. Once again Newcastle lost possession as they tried to build out of defence and Frank Lampard threaded a delightful through-ball into the path of Malouda, who rolled a composed finish past Harper and into the net.



85 mins Earlier in the game Jamie Woods emailed to ask whther I thought Newcastle could kick on and become a top five side next season and I'd say this second half has gone some way towards providing an answer. Newcastle have enjoyed a really good run of late against weaker opposition, proving that they have the potential to do some nice things up front along the way. But the defence is still too inconsistent, and the midfield lacks the quality to retain possession in the face of superior opposition like Chelsea. With investment, maybe they could challenge for the Uefa Cup spots next year, but only if upgrades are made in both those areas.



87 mins Andriy Shevchenko just bounded on to replace Drogba, while Newcastle brought on N'Zogbia but I'm not sure who for.



89 mins Yeah, this game is pretty much just ticking away now. Chelsea are happy to conserve their legs for next weekend, while Newcastle have basically just given up the ghost.



90 mins We're going to have four minutes of injury time.



93 mins Nearly a third for Chelsea, Harper having to react quickly to race out and steal the ball off Essien's toes after he was played in to the penalty area on the right. Essien cost himself there with a heavy touch.



Peep! Peep! Peeeeeeep! Steve Bennett brings proceedings to a close and this will, indeed, be the first ever Premier League season to reach its final day with both of the top two teams on the same number of points.

"I'm sure it will probably come up later this week, but isn't it a couple of months since Man Utd won away in the league," says Glenn. "Having failed to do so at Middlesbrough, Blackburn and Chelsea, why does everyone seem so confident they'll beat Wigan? Please note, that as a Leeds fan I have more important things to worry about, and am not really caring who wins between Man Utd and Chelsea." It's a fair point Glenn, Man Utd haven't won away in the league since a 1-0 win at Derby on March 15. I stil find it hard to believe they won't win next weekend, especially as Wigan are no longer playing to secure their survival, but it is worth saying that the Latics have also been on some pretty tidy form of late.

Anyway, we shall see. For now, thanks for all your emails, sorry I couldn't use more.