World Snooker - Live!

It were all fields round here when I were etc, and so on, and so forth. But let's face facts, snooker isn't as good as it used to be, when Alex Higgins used to brawl in the venue foyer, urinate in plant pots, swill quadruple vodka and oranges mid-break, and threaten opponents with sectarian reprisals. Thank God for Ronnie O'Sullivan, who starts his campaign for a third world title this afternoon against Liu Chuang, and is guaranteed to either rattle in eight century breaks in 37 minutes (including the interval) or have a walloping nervous breakdown and play the final seven frames of the session left-handed. As if to illustrate the point further, the game on the other table this afternoon features a man who met his wife in a God-bothering internet chat room. What went wrong?