Manchester United 1-1 Arsenal

Goal! Man Utd 1-1 Arsenal (Ronaldo 52pen) Cristiano Ronaldo fires the retake into the bottom left-hand corner.

52 min: Cristiano Ronaldo scores a penalty United won after William Gallas handled in the penalty area. Howard Webb orders a retake after several United players encroach.

49 min: Rio Ferdinand and Edwin van der Sar are left looking at each other as their opponents celebrate. Arsenal had won a free-kick wide on the right, a few yards outside the Manchester United penalty area, which Robin van Persie rolled across to Aleksandr Hleb. As assorted Arsenal players attempted to walk the ball into the net from the edge of the penalty area, it eventually found its way to Van Persie, who had made his way over to the left hand side, from where he crossed for Adebayor to score.

Goal! Man Utd 0-1 Arsenal (Adebayor 47) With a combination of his head and his left hand, Emmanuel Adebayor heads a Robin van Persie cross from the left home from three yards out.

Second half: Howard Webb peeps on his whistle and Manchester United get the second half underway. There's been no changes of personnel on either team at half-time.

Is it just me or does anyone else wish they were in a Parisian bar drinking pastis and watching a load of garishly attired tree-trunk-thighed blokes on bikes rattling around the teeth-jarring cobbles of the Paris-Roubaix? Here's a sentence I never thought I'd type: I'd love to swap places with Matt Tempest.

Why is this game scoreless? "I'll tell you why it's scoreless," writes eternal optimist Allan Castle. "It's so otherwise rational people such as myself are lured into believing Arsenal won't get thwacked in the second half and won't have a man sent off to boot and Rooney won't win a dodgy penalty. Well I for one refuse to dream. I'm taping the rest of it and doing last night's dishes."

Conspiracy theory corner: Apparently Manuel Almunia's absence from the team-sheet is down to the fact that he is injured. Bah!

Breaking news! "Barry, I've just come back from an afternoon of drinking pastis and watching the Paris-Roubaix, the Hell of the North, in the local bar," writes Matthew Tempest, a cycling buff and former political correspondent of this parish who now resides in Paris. "Unfortunately it didn't rain - but plenty of 'chutes' on the cobles, none the less. And old Tempest betting let-down George Hincapie punctured twice. Belgium's Tom Boonen won, as you know - put that in your minute by minute and you'll be ahead of the BBC! Their cycling homepage has results from Saturday April 12th."

Half-time chitter-chat I'm not sure how this match is goalless. Emmanuel Adebayor alone is in full-on Couldn't Hit A Cow's Arse With A Banjo mode and has spurned four decent opportunities, two of them gilt-edged. For Manchester United, Wayne Rooney could easily have had a brace.

Half-time

44 min: "Is Van Persie actually playing today?" asks Chris Dunn. "He hasn't been mentioned once." He is playing, Chris, and I may well have mentioned him but due to an unfortunate series of typographical errors, may also have misspelt his name so that it read "Cesc Fabregas". I'm always getting the pair of them mixed up. Oh, hold on - there's Robin van Persie now, getting in a tangle with Owen Hargreaves and falling over.

41 min: Arsenal seem to be carving United's defence open at will. This time it's Cesc Fabregas who finds himself in acres of space on the left-hand side of the Manchester United penalty area. He sends a low cross towards Adebayor, but it's too close to Edwin van der Sar, who intercepts. "Is it just my over-sensitivity as a wounded Gooner deperate for solace, but isn't this game pulsating from end to end at the moment, with Arsenal edging it?" asks Matt Ward in Buenos Aires. You're not being over-sensitive, Matt - that's about the size about.

37 min: With Arsenal's players still shaking their heads in disbelief at Adebayor's miss, United go galloping down to the far end of the pitch, where Wayne Rooney nips between Toure and Song once again and attempts to slot the ball into the bottom right-hand corner of Lehmann's goal. Somewhat fortuitously, the German goalkeeper keeps the ball out with his foot.

34 min: Another miss from Adebayor - this one an absolute shocker. Aleksandr Hleb went on a run down the center and dinked a delightful through-ball into the striker's path. Adebayor signposted his intentions before shooting a feeble effort straight into the sanctuary of Edwin van der Sar's breadbasket. I could have punched the ball harder than he kicked it.

31 min: Half an hour again and Arsenal are edging the game without creating much in the way of clear-cut scoring opportunities. It's a decent game of free-flowing attacking football. Emmanuel Eboue goes down hurt after straining a thigh muscle while tracking back to help Kolo Toure put a stop to Cristiano Ronaldo's latest sortie deep into Arsenal territory. After receiving treatment, he resumes play.

28 min: Aleksandr Hleb goes on a run down the right flank, slaloming past Pique and Paul Scholes on his way. It's left to Michael Carrick to stick out a toe and intervene on the edge of the Manchester United penalty area.

26 min: Arsenal go rampaging down the center, with Eboue and Gilberto Silva combining well to tee up Emmanuel Adebayor on the edge of the D outside the Manchester United penalty area. Under no great amount of pressure, the Arsenal striker sends the ball soaring about 100 feet over the crossbar, prompting howls of derision from the fans in the Stretford End.

24 min: Cristiano Ronaldo skips around Kolo Toure and, from the end line, pulls the ball back to Wayne Rooney, whose close-range effort is put out for a corner by Jens Lehmann. Arsenal are looking horribly exposed down their right side - the out-of-form Toure and inexperienced Song could be a source of much amusement before this game is out.

20 min: With Arsenal on the attack, Emmanuel Eboue threads a delightful pass between Patrice Evra and Gerard Pique to ... absolutely nobody. Standing twenty yards away, Cesc Fabregas waves his arms in the universal "Oi! I'm over here!" style.

18 min: Michael Carrick lofts another long ball down the left channel. Song leaves it for Toure, Toure leaves it for Song and Rooney nips in between the pair of them, controls it and fires wide from a narrow angle. Toure proceeds to bollock Song out of it for not coming to deal the original pass.

17 min: Cesc Fabregas sends in a cross which takes a deflection off Gerard Pique and shoots up in the air. Van der Sar claims the ball under pressure from Adebayor.

15 min: Wes Brown gets the first yellow card of the match for a fairly harmless looking challenge on Gael Clichy.

12 min: Emmanuel Adebayor spurns a glorious chance to put Arsenal ahead. On the break, Emmanuel Eboue went galloping down the right channel and squared the ball for the unmarked striker, who lunged at it and failed to make proper contact, enabling Rio Ferdinand to make the block. A corner for Arsenal, which results in a bit of pin-ball in the penalty area from which they go close again.

10 min: Free-kick for United, a couple of yards outside the Arsenal penalty on the left-hand side of the field. Ronaldo fires it straight into the wall. From the rebound, United win another free-kick which, given its location, might as well be a corner. Ronaldo sends in a cross which misses everyone.

9 min: Hope may be a dangerous thing, but that isn't stopping George Templeton from peddling it. "I've two notes of hope for Arsenal fans," he writes. "The first is the curse of the Manager of the Month award. Second, remember the Manchester City game? City were struggling, on a long winless run and given less than no chance when they came to Old Trafford (sound familiar?). Man City surprised everyone with the performance of their lives and a thoroughly deserved 1-2 victory"

7 min: A Manchester United kick-out, which Edwin van der Sar takes, is closely followed by a Manchester United throw-in, which Wes Brown takes. It's all go here.

3 min: A quiet lull gives me time to give a big shout out to a mate of mine, Nev, who spent a small fortune traveling from Galway, match ticket in hand, to Manchester for the Champions League game between Manchester United and Roma during the week, only to spend 16 hours sweating and shivering in his hotel room with some sort of flu-type malaise and end up missing the match. He did catch about 30 seconds highlights on the news, so it wasn't an entirely wasted journey. Cesc Fabregas rifles the first shot in anger over the Manchester United cross-bar.

2 min: Carrick hoists a long ball from one penalty area to the other, which Aleksandr Hleb heads clear.

1 min: Arsenal, whose players line up in their change strip of white shirts, maroony-red shorts and white socks, kick-off. They're playing into the Stretford End.

Pre-match niceties: The players limber up as Sir Alex Ferguson and Cristiano Ronaldo are presented with their Barclay's Manager of the Month and Player of the Month trophies. Hats off to them.

On Sky, pundit Ray Wilkins was talking about the difference (between the styles of play of) Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney. "Ronaldo is easier on the eye," he said, in what is quite possible the most accurate bit of punditry I've ever heard.

What's that coming over the hill? Is it an email? Is it an email? Yes, it is. "As a Gooner I have no idea why I'm up at 7:45am to stare at what will almost surely be another entry in the Painful Humiliation folder," writes Allan Castle from, I think, Canada. "Can't they just show the 6-1 from a few years back? At least I'd know to stop watching after we go ahead. Haven't felt this pessimistic before one of these ever, I don't think. Here's hoping that means a shock 0-3 result that changes everything. Here's hoping."

As Red said in The Shawshank Redemption, Allan, hope is a dangerous thing. Having backed Tiger Woods to win the Masters before tee-off on Thursday, I've ridden a rollercoaster of emotion as he's done just enough to keep the flame of hope that burns within me flickering. I know deep down that he's probably left himself too much to do, but the hope is killing me.

Right so, back to the football. Interestingly, Arsenal goalkeeper Manuel Almunia's name is conspicuous by its absence from the team-sheet. Being an informed reporter whose finger is never far from the pulse, I don't know if he's injured or suspended. For the time being I'm going to peddle the wild conspiracy theory that he's been dropped as a disciplinary measure for this interview he did with Daniel Taylor in yesterday's Guardian.

Bah! After being flayed around the course, Tragic Ohio finishes in a very creditable - and utterly useless to those of us who backed him on the nose - second place.

On a far more important note, myself and my colleagues Sean Ingle and James Dart have lumped on - well, put a couple of quid each - on Tragic Ohio in the 3.30pm at Kelso. According to Observer tipster Eddie "The Shoe" Fremantle it "looks a good thing on old form for Paul Nicholls". The bookies don't seem to agree, as we've backed it at 28-1. I don't fancy this one at all, but I felt obliged to back it after Ingle brought it to my attention. To be fair, I once had a fiver on a Fremantle nap that came in at 50-1, so stranger things have happened. To At The Races, and don't spare the, em, horses.

The teams

Man Utd: Van der Sar, Brown, Ferdinand, Pique, Evra, Ronaldo,
Carrick, Hargreaves, Scholes, Park, Rooney.Subs: Kuszczak,
Anderson, Giggs, O'Shea, Tevez.

Arsenal: Lehmann, Toure, Gallas, Song Billong, Clichy, Eboue,
Fabregas, Silva, Hleb, Van Persie, Adebayor.Subs: Djourou,
Fabianski, Bendtner, Justin Hoyte, Walcott.

Referee: Howard Webb (S Yorkshire)

Pre-match reading

"Anything might still be possibly mathematically, but were Arsenal to lift themselves after the drama and despair of Europe to take three points at old Trafford this afternoon it would count as their most miraculous achievement of the season. Actually never mind this season,. It would be a miracle of biblical proportions. And Arsene Wenger would be the new Charlton Heston," wrote Paul Wilson in this morning's Observer, saving me the job of having to say much the same thing in this afternoon's minute-by-minute report.

Meanwhile last Friday, Mr Rob Smyth took guardian.co.uk/football readers on a trip down memory lane, recalling half-a-dozen of the more exciting Arsenal v Manchester United encounters in The Joy of Six. If searing, insightful comment and nostalgia aren't your particular cup of tea, you can always sign up for the Fiver, our free, unfunny and habitually tardy football email and/or listen to our Sony Award-nominated (no, really) podcast Football Weekly instead.

And here's how it all went down in Liverpool's 3-1 win over Blackburn Rovers at Anfield.