Fenerbahce 2-1 Chelsea

GOAL! Fenerbahce 2-1 Chelsea (Deived 78) Deivid picks up the ball all of 30 yards out, looks up to survey his options, notices he doesn't really have any and decides to shoot an unstoppable screamer into the top left-hand corner instead. That was an an astonishingly good goal.

76 min: Chelsea substitution: Frank Lampard off, John Obi Mikel on. Lampard removes his boots and throws them to the ground in a bit of a huff, while on the pitch his team-mate Didier Drogba takes a dive in the hope of conning the referee. He doesn't, but escapes a yellow card.

73 min: Fenerbahce have finally put their foot down, announced that "this is our manor and you're not allowed come here and dictate what goes on" and are starting to turn the screw on Chelsea, who are well and truly on the back foot. They're attacking in waves with Semi, Kazim-Richards, Deived and Alex playing up front in what's not too far removed from a 3-3-4 formation. Kazim Richards crosses beautifully for Alex, who volleys over the bar from just inside the Chelsea penalty area.

71 min: Fenerbahce substitution: Zico sends on Senturk Semi, the striker many Fenerbahce fans believe should have started instead of Mateja Kezman, in place of Kezman. He's Fenerbahce's top scorer in the league with 16 goals.

69 min: What a night this is for Colin Kazim-Richards. Tonight's was only his second goal of the season, following a season in the Premier League with Sheffield United where he scored one. He's been excellent since he came on and in the wake of his goal, Fenerbahce's collective tail is certainly up.

67 min: Free-kick for Chelsea, just outside the Fenerbahce penalty area, but wide on the right. Although it looks ideal for a left-footer, Didier Drogba insists on taking it and hits it high over the bar.

Goal! Fenerbahce 1-1 Chelsea (Kazim-Richards 63) A fine goal from the English-Turkish-Cypriot substitute Colin Kazim-Richards-Kazim-Kazim, who nicks in behind Ricardo Carvalho to get on the end of a long pass played through from midfield, control it and bury it low and hard past Carlo Cudicini for a thoroughly undeserved equalizer.

63 min: My thanks to the many hundreds of you who've written in to point out the difference between the word "ambiguity" and "ubiquity", which I appear to have mixed up in my Guitar Hero, eh, riff. Sorry about that - is "ambiguity" even a word?

58 min: Not for the first time, Drogba chooses to shoot when picking out a team-mate would have been a better optiom. His effort is high and wide. A few moments ago, Ricardo Carvalho had a great opportunity to extend Chelsea's lead when he ghosted in at the near post and rose highest to get on the end of a Frank Lampard free-kick from the right. Unfortunately, the knowledge that he was going to collide with a Fenerbache player caused him to maybe take his eye off the ball and he didn't trouble the goalkeeper as much as he should have.

56 min: Fenerbahce substitution: Ugur Boral off, Colin Kazim-Richards (or Kazim-Kazim as he is known locally) formerly of Bury, Brighton and Sheffield United on.

54 min: Another good move by Fenerbahce. Mehmet Aurelio gets in around Ashley Cole in the Chelsea left-back position and tries to drill a pass across the six-yard box to Mateja Kezman. John Terry sticks out a leg to make the crucial interception.

52 mins: Standing on the right hand side of the Fenerbahce penalty area, Didier Drogba is picked out by Florent Malouda. The Ivorian attempts to curl a shot outside of Demirel and inside the right-hand upright, but fluffs his shot and ends up scuffing the ball straight at the keeper.

49 min: Fenerbahce's best move of the match to date. On the left touchline, Kezman centers for Alex, who sprays the ball out to Deived on the right touchline and hares towards the Chelsea penalty area. The scorer of the first-half own-goal crosses, Alex soars and heads wide. If he'd got more purchase on his header he could have equalized.

46 min: Enough nostalgia, the football's back on. Didier Drogba goes galloping up the left flank and, with John Terry in support, insists on running up a blind alley and making life easy for Fenerbahce goalkeeper Volkan Demirel.

Half-time analysis: "Has there ever been a guitar hero in you?" asks Jack Goodson. No Jack, although many years ago I did once do the nasty with the frontwoman of a not-very-well-known Dublin rock band. Oh ... and Andy Cairns from Therapy? once kipped on the sofa in my Dublin home and then sent me a postcard a few days later. God, I miss my mid-20s.

Is there a Guitar Hero in you? I'm getting sick of the ubiquity of that video game advert. There's a girl I know who used to be quite the rock groupie back in the day, so every time I see it I think of her and all the guitar heroes she's had in her - honestly, a lovely girl but she was like a bucket. Then there was all the itchy infections she caught from them. And the letters they didn't write, the phone calls they didn't make and the flowers they didn't send. Where's the dignity? Where's the glamor?

Half-time

44 min: Great ball out wide to Under wide on the right. His attempt at a cross is foiled and Chelsea break at the speed of the sound of loneliness. The ball is played through for Drogba, forcing Demirel the Fenerbahce goalkeeper to rush off his line and out of his penalty area to challenge for it. He wins it brilliantly, when you consider the price of failure would have been another goal conceded or a red card.

40 min: "Any sign of Avram planting a Chelsea flag in the center circle a la Souness?" asks Andy Dunn. "Should be a sure fire way of proving himself to the Chelsea faithful." No sign yet, Andy, but it's a bit early. If he was going to spear the center circle with any kind of flag, I'd say it'd be a the jolly roger. The funniest description I've heard of Grant yet was by the comedian Sean Lock, who said that he looked like the kind of man who would have arrived at Chelsea by traveling down the Thames on a Gondola made from skulls.

37 min: Unlike the bloke with the collection of bongo-drums who lives in the house next door to mine, Fenerbahce are finally beginning to find their rhythm. Aurelio swings in a cross from the right, which Carvalho attempts to clear but misses completely. Had he had his wits about him, Mateja Kezman could have pounced and scored.

34 min: "Any of those 'Welcome to Hell' banners in the ground?" asks Gary Naylor. "I wonder if the writers of such banners have ever been in Magaluf at 2.00am?" Magaluf at 2am? What about a trendy Hoxton wine bar at 10pm on a Friday night? Or my bedroom the morning after I've had seven or eight pints of Guinness and a lamb jalfrezi?

32 min: Fenerbahce corner after Aurelio had gone down under a nothing challenge from Ashley Cole and appealed somewhat optimistically for a penalty. The ball is swung into the mixer and Carlo Cudicini rushes off his line and punches clear.

30 min: They almost scored it there. The ball was played to Drogba on the edge of the Fenerbahce box and, running away from goal, he swiveled and shot. His surface-to-air screamer was heading straight for the top corner but Demirel kept it out with a good save.

28 min: Far from being intimidated by the hostile reception afforded to them tonight, Chelsea are positively revelling in it. They're more inventive than Fenerbahce, they're working harder than Fenerbahce and they're totally outclassing Fenerbahce. At this rate it's only a matter of time before they score their second.

26 min: Fenerbahce finally get the ball into Chelsea's half, courtesy of a long ball hoofed towards Mateja Kezman. Carvalho intercepts and the ball breaks to Gokcek Vederson whose cross-cum-shot is slashed horribly high and wide.

24 min: Drogba goes close for Chelsea. I'd tell you more, but to be honest I've been keeping an eye on the Arsenal v Liverpool game, which I'm able to see on Scott Murray's television without having to crane my neck in a painful manner.

21 min: "For what it's worth - Fener to win 2-0 with Deivid and Semih (after he replaces Kezman) to score," writes Phil West, all the way from Istanbul. "You heard it here first," he continues, correctly if not a little too late. Still, at least he was right about Deived scoring first.

19 min: Almost 20 minutes gone and Fenerbahce are a goal down and haven't got the ball within an ass's roar of the Chelsea goal yet.

16 min: Fenerbahce are clearly rattled and so is their crossbar. Michael Essien tries a long-range effort that leaves it shaking - Fenerbahce goalkeeper Volkan Demirel in the Fenerbahce goal was well and truly beaten.

Goal! Fenerbahce 0-1 Chelsea (Deived 12og) The home crowd is silenced by an own-goal by Deived six yards out from the near post, who prods a Florent Malouda cross past his own goalkeeper from a most improbable angle. Fenerbahce were in no real danger and had the cross covered - it's a shocking cock-up and they're in big trouble now.

11 min: Florent Malouda picks out Joe Cole with a nice pass to the right wing. Cole's marker stands off him, allowing him to cut in and make room for a long-range shot which the goalkeeper saves easily.

8 min: Frank Lampard gifts possession to Fenerbahce cheaply by playing a loose pass to Ashley Cole out on the left wing. Except it's not to Ashley Cole, it's to the advertising hoarding about five yards away from Ashley Cole. The Chelsea full-back gets an apology from his team-mate and Fenerbahce get a throw-in just inside the Chelsea half.

5 min: The shrill jeering of the home fans means that Chelsea are in possession. The ball is worked over to the left wing, where Ashley Cole attempts to play a cross in to the Fenerbahce penalty area. His effort is feeble and Lugano clears.

3 min: Nothing resembling a chance for either team so far, as Fenerbahce launch a sortie into the Chelsea half courtesy of their star turn Alex, who chaired the Fenerbahce pre-match huddle. They stroke the ball around the pitch comfortably without achieving much.

1 min: Fenerbahce kick off as Chelsea line out with Essien at right-back and Malouda recalled from the wilderness to the left side of midfield. I know I'm only watching this from the sanctuary of my Farringdon bunker, but even from here I can see that the Sukru Saracoglu in Istanbul is bouncing. The noise being generated by the home fans is unbelievably loud.

Pre-match niceties

As the Champions League music is drowned out by 50,000 Fenerbahce fans, the teams line up. The hosts wear blue and yellow striped shirts, navy blue shorts and navy blue socks. Chelsea's players are dressed in white with blue trim.

Technical difficulties

Apologies from my tardiness, but the hamster that powers the dynamo in my usual television isn't working, which means I am now sitting in a state of total discombobulation at an unfamiliar PC, which resides on an unfamiliar and horrifically untidy desk, located under a strange television that I can only see if I crane my neck at an angle that should ensure I'll be crippled with whiplash when it's time to get up in the morning. Not that my wellbeing is of any importance when there's coverage of an important Champions League quarter-final involving Chelsea and Fenerbahce to be covered in a minute-by-minutely fashion. Will in-form Mateja Kezman score against the club where he flopped in the 2004/05 stadium? Will Nic Anelka get a run-out against his former side? Will Chelsea be intimidated by a Fenerbahce furnace fuelled by die hard fans who've been pouring into the ground since two o'clock this afternoon? I have no idea, obviously, but here come the teams so we'll find out soon enough.

Preamble

As the many Turkish Super Ligi devotees numbered among the Guardian Unlimi ... sorry, guardian.co.uk/sport's readers will know, Fenerbahce are top of the table having won 11, drawn two and lost just one league match at fortress Sukru Saracoglu this season. They've also won all five of their home games in the Champions League (Anderlecht in the third qualifying round, then Inter, PSV, CSKA Moscow and Sevilla), so it would be very foolish to write them off as quarter-final cannon-fodder.

This is their first time in the Champions League knockout stages in five attempts and they come into tonight's encounter high on the hog after a 2-1 league win over rivals Besiktas last weekend. "Chelsea have a strong defence but we have a good attacking team and good forwards so we believe we can get through their backline," declared their manager Zico yesterday.

However, the Brazilian legend will also be concerned that Chelsea may be able to get in behind his own back line because both his first-choice full-backs could miss out tonight. Gokhan Gonul is suspended and will be replaced by Onder Turaci, while Roberto Carlos is recovering from injury, not yet fully fit and extremely unlikely to last 90 minutes.

Chelsea don't need much of an introduction as most of us are familiar with their handiwork already. Second in the Premier League, they sauntered through the Champions League group stages with three wins and three draws, and considering they haven't been beaten at home since shortly after Neil Armstrong first set foot on the moon, they'd probably happily settle for a draw tonight. Avram Grant will continue with Carlo Cudicini in goal this evening as Petr Cech is still hobbling around on a dodgy ankle. Frank Lampard appears to be over the stomach bug that precluded him from playing against Middlesbrough last Sunday.

The teams

Fenerbahce: Demirel, Turaci, Lugano, Edu Dracena, Wederson, Maldonado, Aurelio, Boral, Deivid, Alex, Kezman.Subs: Kulbilge, Cakmak, Aslan, Kazim-Richards, Bilgin, Sahin, Senturk. Chelsea: Cudicini, Essien, Carvalho, Terry, Ashley Cole, Makelele, Joe Cole, Ballack, Lampard, Malouda, Drogba.Subs: Hilario, Obi, Ferreira, Kalou, Wright-Phillips, Alex, Anelka.

Referee: Claus Bo Larsen (Denmark)