Scotland 1-1 Croatia

34 min: Er, no, not immediately anyway: Kranjcaer nutmegs Fletcher on the edge of the area, evades a challenge from McManus, and unleashes a daisy cutter which Gordon does well to claim.

30 min: GOAL!!!!!!!! Scotland 1-1 Croatia. This came out of nothing, but who will care. Steven Fletcher pings a ball down the left wing. It should be cut out by Kovac but it isn't, and Miller scampers into the box. He's on his own with Simunic giving him gip, but he twists one way, then the other, and from a close angle hammers the ball home with the help of a small deflection off the Croatian defender's studs. This has basically been all Croatia so far; will this change things?

27 min: Hartley clatters (I think) Pranjic; he would have been booked for that challenge from behind in a competitive fixture. But this isn't, so he isn't.

25 min: Modric, Olic, you know what they're up to. This time Gordon slides out to claim before Olic can get to it. At this rate it won't be long before Croatia get another.

24 min: Maloney - Scotland's answer to David Beckham (well, he takes all the dead balls) - swings one into the area towards Miller, who lets the ball slap off his face and out of play.

22 min: What happened two minutes ago has now happened again, only on the other side of the pitch, a complete mirror image of the move. So you can't blame Hutton this time. Caldwell was running so slowly for a minute there I thought it was Dirk Kuyt.

20 min: Olic is released down the left by a peach of a slide-rule pass from Modric. Not for the first time in his career, Hutton is found to be half asleep. The ball's cut square across the face of goal but doesn't quite find Petric and is hacked clear.

19 min: Nothing is happening.

16 min: Maloney swings a free kick from near the center circle into the box, forcing Simunic to head out for a corner, from which nothing comes.

13 min: That's a bit better: Caldwell is fouled 35 yards out; from the free kick Miller is sent free down the right and wins a corner. The danger from the set piece is cleared easily, but Hutton wastes no time in shuttling the ball right back towards the Croatian box. Again the danger is cleared, this time by Pranjic, but at least Scotland are stringing a few passes together now.

12 min: For a minute it looks like Miller is away from the Croatian back line with the ball at his feet, but Kovac catches up with ease, pushes him wide left, and the danger is gone. This is a very, very poor start from Scotland.

9 min: GOAL!!! Scotland 0-1 Croatia. This has been coming. From a throw on the left, Modric pings a first-time ball towards Kranjcaer on the edge of the Scotland area. Only Brown goes in to challenge and even that's far too little, too late, because despite being surrounded by Scots, Kranjcaer seems to have all the time in the world to send a swerving shot over the static Gordon's head and into the roof of the net.

8 min: Maloney sells Hutton short with a hospital ball and allows Olic to tear down the left. He's in a lot of space and Scotland are fortunate to see an aimless cross sail right across the box.

6 min: Caldwell sprays a lovely ball out left to Steven Fletcher but he's bustled out of it by Corluka. That's the nearest Scotland have got to putting together a move so far: one pass that never reached its target. It is important to remember that Croatia are a very decent side. So decent, in fact, that they beat Steve McClaren's England home and away in Euro 2008 qualifying. Actually, that doesn't prove anything, does it.

4 min: Olic and Modric take turns to pick up the ball and run straight at the Scottish defence. Both runs are stymied on the edge of the area with timely challenges from Caldwell and McManus respectively. This isn't a confident start by Scotland.

3 min: Steven Fletcher clatters Kovac out on the right wing. It's the nearest Scotland have got to the ball in the opening exchanges.

And we're off! Scotland take a whole 11 seconds to lose the ball. And with 33 seconds gone, it's all Croatia. Burley out! "I like your little graphic of the Championship table Scott," says Craig Gamble. Yes, it is rather natty, isn't it. "But surely it illustrates how much Southhampton miss Burley, rather than any poor job he did while there? Or is this what you meant all along you tricky devil?" I'm saying nothing.

It's the national anthems: First it's a blast of Our Beautiful Homeland, the Croatia number, which is basically a slowed-down version of Oh! Oh! Antonio. Then it's the Greatest Hit of The Corries.

12 years! Ally McCoist scored the goal, for goodness sake. Ally McCoist.

Referee: Terje Hauge (Norway)

12 years! Since they thrashed Australia 1-0.

No Eduardo, of course, so Slaven Bilic starts with Mladen Petric and Ivica Olic up front: Pletikosa, Robert Kovac, Corluka, Simunic, Srna, Nico Kovac, Modric, Kranjcar, Pranjic, Petric, Olic.
Subs: Galinovic, Knezevic, Leko, Klasnic, Budan, Vukojevic, Simic.

12 years. Yep, you read that right, that's how long it's been since Scotland won a friendly at Hampden.

Barry Ferguson, Lee McCulloch, Christian Dailly and Allan McGregor have all phoned in sick and will in no way be fit for the Old Firm derby on Saturday, but Steven Fletcher celebrates his 21st birthday by winning his first cap: Gordon, Hutton, Naysmith, Caldwell, McManus,
Darren Fletcher, Hartley, Brown, Maloney, Miller, Steven Fletcher.
Subs: Marshall, Rae, Anderson, Berra, Boyd, Teale, McEveley, Alexander, O'Connor.

Kick off: March 1996. That was the last time Scotland won a friendly at Hampden. Twelve years! Twelve! Anyway, yet another attempt to draw this risible farce to a close begins at 8pm. Twelve years, though.

A new era begins tonight for Scotland under George Burley. Meanwhile the Southampton team he helped to build clings onto Championship life by the fingernails. You could argue that there wasn't much money to play with down at St Mary's, but it's better to go into these things with next to no expectations, isn't it. Hey, worked with Walter Smith and Alex McLeish.