Manchester United v Liverpool - Live!

An email from - who else? - Gary Naylor "Never mind Fernando and the drums," he says, alluding to my oh-so-hilarious photo caption. "Will today's showdowns be cases of The Winner Takes it All? Chelsea's Money, Money, Money has given them the depth of squad, but will Avram's appeal to Roman to Take a Chance on Me pay off with a title? Sir Alex knows that The Name of The Game is playing the full 38 match season at full throttle - the rotating Rafa seems to have learned that lesson. Arsenal are in free fall, so will van Persie accept Arsene's Voulez-Vous to prove his goalscoring pedigree in answer to the SOS call? This could be a Waterloo for Arsenal. Hasta manana."

I don't know whether to laugh or weep.

Preamble

Never mind chocolate eggs and movable feasts commemorating the resurrection of Jesus Christ, anyone with a subscription to a certain satellite sports channel knows that today is really all about the sensationally exciting Manchester United v Liverpool and Chelsea v Arsenal clashes in the Premier League. The hype-merchants have dubbed it Grand Slam Sunday, with the rugby-related moniker obviously a nod to the kind of fare history suggests will be served up in the first of today's two games.

In a fixture that's normally about as much fun as being forced to attend the stations of the cross in a cold Irish Catholic church on Good Friday, a win for Manchester United will catapult the league leaders six points clear of Arsenal at the top of the table, for a couple of hours at least. Should Liverpool triumph, they'll pull five points ahead of their Merseyside rivals Everton in the race for the fourth Champions League qualifying spot. Worryingly for those of us who aren't that bothered who prevails, both teams would probably be happy to settle for a draw - a view that's confirmed by Sir Alex Ferguson's team selection, which features Paul Scholes, Michael Carrick and Anderson in midfield, in front of a defence featuring fit again Rio Ferdinand. Edwin van der Sar also returns from injury and starts in goal.

Despite having failed to score against Manchester United in six of their Premier League encounters since Rafael Beitez took over, Liverpool arrive at Old Trafford having won their last seven matches in all competitions since their FA Cup humiliation at the hands of Barnsley. What's more, they've scored 18 goals in the process. Manchester United have won five of their last seven in all competitions, drawing one against Lyon in the Champions League and losing against Portsmouth in the FA Cup. It's also worth noting that they have the wood on Liverpool in a big way, with six wins to their name in the last seven meetings between the teams.

Earlier this season, Manchester United won 1-0 at Anfield, courtesy of a late first half strike from Carlos Tevez, making it 17 Premier League wins for Manchester United in this fixture (to Liverpool's seven) since the invention of top flight English football by Sky Sports in 1992. While recent encounters between the two sides would suggest that we've got nothing more than 90 minutes of extreme tedium ahead, with Fernando Torres and Cristiano Ronaldo both banging in goals for fun this season, here's hoping these bitter north west rivals serve up a long overdue humdinger.

Today's cast of characters

Man Utd: Van der Sar, Brown, Ferdinand, Vidic, Evra, Ronaldo, Scholes, Carrick, Anderson, Giggs, Rooney.Subs: Kuszczak, Hargreaves, Nani, O'Shea, Tevez.

Liverpool: Reina, Arbeloa, Carragher, Skrtel, Aurelio, Mascherano, Alonso, Kuyt, Gerrard, Babel, Torres.Subs: Itandje, Hyypia, Riise, Benayoun, Crouch.Referee: Steve Bennett (Kent)