Cathy Freeman

Hi Cathy[Clear as a bell, like she's in the next room, isn't modern technology amazing?] Hi Small Talk, how are you?

We're great, and feeling chuffed that despite you being on the other side of the world, we'll be able to have this chat without straining to hear each other and repeating every other word.

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Ah, that doesn't bode as well. Never mind. What've you been up to lately?Lately I've been working a lot with the Cathy Freeman Foundation and my wonderful team. It's all about providing education and opportunities to young girls.

Busy then?I am actually. I've got an interest in writing and film-making and I'm involved in a couple of charities.

But do you ever miss the thrill of competition?I miss being really, really fit and I miss that feeling of invincibility.

Do you still go out running, or do you just enjoy an extra hour in bed?No, unfortunately your Dame Kelly Holmes puts me to shame. She looks amazing, whereas I've definitely lost the edge almost completely.

I guess most of the world remembers you most for your Olympic win in Sydney in 2000. Do you ever get bored of talking about it?Oh gosh, I never get bored. Never.

Good, good. That means Small Talk doesn't have to bin the next few questions. The pressure on you in that final must have been incredible.I guess it all added to the drama. I wasn't quite aware of what other people expected of me. Whatever pressure there was didn't compare to the pressure I placed on myself.

The only equivalent Small Talk could think of in Britain is if Andy Murray were playing in the Wimbledon final, and if Wimbledon only came round every four years and was only held in this country once in every few generations. And with added history and politics. So we reckon you did well to get out of bed in the morning, never mind leg it round a track at high speed.Ah, you get used to expectation. I tended to cram any negativity inside me and use it to my absolute advantage.

Did the space suit that you ran in cause any trouble? It looks like the sort of thing that would make your ears hot.At first it was a little bit odd. It was very strange, but when you're in an Olympic final in your home country and you're the hot favourite you forget what the peripherals are.

Now, you're known as a fine upstanding person, a role-model for youngsters, but do you ever find yourself, as Small Talk has on occasion, having too many G&Ts and singing at the bus stop at three in the morning on the way home?I have to admit that there was a small period of my life where it did take me a while to discover what my next calling in life was. It takes time to find that balance, to find a creative outlet as well as having fun.

We'll take that as a guarded 'yes', then. The preconception we have of Australian sportsmen over here is one of talented people who have this incredible desire, determination and will to win. Is that a fair stereotype?I think part of the national heritage is fighting spirit. We tend to be quite earthy and realise the value of really hard work. We relish a bit of a struggle - part of the Australian nature is to favour the underdog.

Well, while we're debunking Australian stereotypes, have you ever called anyone a flamin' galah?[Pause] No...

Do you ever throw a couple of shrimps on the barbie?Oh yeah, I definitely enjoy a barbeque.

And have you ever had to wrestle an alligator?No. That is hilarious. I guess that is the perception of what Australians are all about, but no. Sure we enjoy a barbeque and there is that subculture of the bush and sure there are crocodiles - we don't have alligators here. But we're very multicultural. A galah is just, to me, a bird. A bit like a cockatoo.

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Ow. Well, Small Talk's cultural knowledge of Australia comes largely from Crocodile Dundee and Neighbours, so you'll have to forgive usOf course, our beloved Neighbours...

Blimey, is it still on over there? Here they've had to pretend to be really pleased about being shunted to Five.It's still going very strong, but judging Australia on Neighbours is like believing everyone in the UK lives in Coronation Street. I mean, come on.

Aye, you're reet. Ah'll tek it back. Nah, then. What were't last CD tha' bought?That I bought? The last thing I bought was a fridge magnet from Vanuatu.

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Well, that's not exactly the answer we're looking for but it's probably a more interesting one. What would you put in Room 101?Sorry?

[Small Talk offers a brief but interesting explanation of the concept]What would I lock away? [Long, thoughtful pause] Short-sightedness.

Eh? Years of computer-work has left Small Talk squinting like a mole whenever we mislay our specs. What've you got against us?No. Blindness, narrow-mindedness, having a closed mind. People who don't have an open mind - the personality trait.

Phew. We're off the hook. So who'd be the victor if a lion and a tiger went mano-a-mano?Well, isn't the lion supposed to be King of the Jungle. Oh, that's a funny one.

We'll tick the box that says 'lion', then. Brad Pitt or Eric Bana?[With gusto] Eric! Come on, I'm Australian.

Can you tell us a joke? Ah ... um ...