Manchester United v Arsenal - Live!

Minute-by-minute report: The Premier League title rivals go head-to-head in the fifth round of the FA Cup
Blatant Fate Tempting dept.: A big hyped game between two big hyped teams... it's bound to be dreadful, isn't it. A horrible anti-climax. The most tedious fare served up since the last time Chelsea played Liverpool. It'll be a complete waste of their time, your time, my time, our time. A god awful nonsense, a shambles, dreck, a pathetic excuse for sport, a risible effort at entertainment and a shameful, shameful, shameful shame. A shabby spectacle. So shabby. Lackluster. Flat. Stodgy. Unimaginative. Drab. Uninspired. Dull. Colorless. Hellish. There won't even be a fight. Best league in the world? Aye, right you are.

There, that should do it. Join me from 5pm; kick off is at 5.15pm.

Key to the Guardian Unlimited Official Patented Fight-o-meter®, a state-of-the-art gadget our technical boffins have knocked together just in case there's a fight, which there won't be, but that's what we all want really, if we're being honest about it:
A: Fight
B: Homoerotic fight, tenderly directed by Ken Russell

By Guardian Unlimited © Copyright Guardian Newspapers 2008
Published: 2/16/2008
 
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