Newcastle v Middlesbrough - Live
Follow Kevin Keegan's attempts to kick start his Newcastle side against struggling Boro' in the Tyne-Tees derby - now!
It's OK, he's smiling now: He's just had a hug off Gareth Southgate. There's nice. I feel much better about this now.
As the teams run out, Sky Sports transmit pictures of Kevin Keegan standing in the tunnel. He looks thoroughly depressed, poor bloke. Furrowed brow, shoulders slumped... aw! I want to give him a cuddle. Cheer up, Keeg! Everyone does love you, you know. Bringing the good times back to the Toon, though? Hm.
Newcastle's wonderful new "continental" set-up consists of a Spurs fan who used to flog replica shirts and is acting as though he is in the throes of a tanking midlife crisis, 1996's Kevin Keegan, and Dennis Wise. In the interests of balance I'm saying nothing about this. However the following minute-by-minute report should only be read while listening to this piece of music.
Newcastle United: Given, Coco, Carr, Chuckles, Taylor, Bonzo, Cacapa, Biffo, N'Zogbia (who is brilliant), Krusty, Duff, Sideshow Bob, Barton, Pippo, Butt, Bam Bam, Emre, Amusement the Clown, Owen, Humor the Clown, Smith.
Subs: Forster, Giggles, Milner, HoHo, Ameobi, Mr Snuggles, Edgar, Twinkle Winkle, Viduka.
Middlesbrough: Schwarzer, Young, Wheater, Huth, Pogatetz, O'Neil, Rochemback, Cattermole, Arca, Downing, Aliadiere.
Subs: Turnbull, Boateng, Lee, Johnson, Grounds.
Referee: Mike Dean (Wirral)
As the teams run out, Sky Sports transmit pictures of Kevin Keegan standing in the tunnel. He looks thoroughly depressed, poor bloke. Furrowed brow, shoulders slumped... aw! I want to give him a cuddle. Cheer up, Keeg! Everyone does love you, you know. Bringing the good times back to the Toon, though? Hm.
Newcastle's wonderful new "continental" set-up consists of a Spurs fan who used to flog replica shirts and is acting as though he is in the throes of a tanking midlife crisis, 1996's Kevin Keegan, and Dennis Wise. In the interests of balance I'm saying nothing about this. However the following minute-by-minute report should only be read while listening to this piece of music.
Newcastle United: Given, Coco, Carr, Chuckles, Taylor, Bonzo, Cacapa, Biffo, N'Zogbia (who is brilliant), Krusty, Duff, Sideshow Bob, Barton, Pippo, Butt, Bam Bam, Emre, Amusement the Clown, Owen, Humor the Clown, Smith.
Subs: Forster, Giggles, Milner, HoHo, Ameobi, Mr Snuggles, Edgar, Twinkle Winkle, Viduka.
Middlesbrough: Schwarzer, Young, Wheater, Huth, Pogatetz, O'Neil, Rochemback, Cattermole, Arca, Downing, Aliadiere.
Subs: Turnbull, Boateng, Lee, Johnson, Grounds.
Referee: Mike Dean (Wirral)
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