England v South Africa - Live!

Preamble:
"England expects!" roar virtually all the nation's papers today, but I put it to you that "England hopes" would be a more accurate description of the national mood. Though "jittery and deeply drunk" would probably be even closer to the mark, what with it being 8pm on a Saturday night and England's rugby players poised tantalisingly on the cusp of sporting immortality. Just 36 days after being humiliating 36-0 by tonight's opponents, can England shock the Springboks and become the first side ever to win back-to-back World Cups?

Yes, they can. But will they? Don't ask me, because since the start of this barmy tournament my predictions have been poorer than an Alaskan bikini vendor. What is certain is that the mobility and ferocity that England's forwards suddenly mustered mid-way through the pool stages will again have to be to the fore if their backline is to avoid being ripped asunder by the speedy South Africans. If England secure possession, what will they do with it? Entrust their fate to Wilkinson's golden boot, or dare to be expansive? A bit of both, I reckon, as Gomarsall's quick hands and brain will enable them to exploit any gaps in the Springbok defence, meaning they don't have to rely exclusively on Wilkinson's territorial kicking. The same goes for South Africa, of course, as Montgomery and Steyn can dictate games with their boot while du Preez, the best scrum-half in the competition, can invent and inspire at will. I foresee a thriller.

Finally, let me conclude with an appeal to the IRB to ban the Garryowen, or at least restrict its usage. Since Argentina launched about 666 of them in the opener against France, up-and-under have been an all-too-convenient recourse for the clueless, doing more than any Danny Grewcock guide to discipline ever could to dumb the game down.

But enough about all that: how are you?

Teams:England: 15 Jason Robinson, 14 Paul Sackey, 13 Mathew Tait, 12 Mike Catt, 11 Mark Cueto, 10 Jonny Wilkinson, 9 Andy Gomarsall; 1 Andrew Sheridan, 2 Mark Regan, 3 Phil Vickery, 4 Simon Shaw, 5 Ben Kay, 6 Martin Corry, 7 Lewis Moody, 8 Nick Easter.

Replacements: G Chuter, M Stevens, L Dallaglio, J Worsley, P Richards, T Flood, D Hipkiss

South Africa: 15 Percy Montgomery, 14 JP Pietersen, 13 Jacque Fourie, 12 Francois Steyn, 11 Bryan Habana, 10 Butch James, 9 Fourie du Preez; 1 Os du Randt, 2 John Smit, 3 CJ van der Linde, 4 Bakkies Botha, 5 Victor Matfield, 6 Schalk Burger, 7 Juan Smith, Danie Rossouw

Replacements: J du Plessis, B du Plessis, J Muller, W van Heerden, R Pienaar, A Prestorious, W Olivier

Referee: A Rolland (Ireland)