"Shutup & Be Quiet 101" and "Appropriate Talk For The Library 102" Should Be Required Classes For Librarians!

Justice For All? Baloney---is a Humor Column that addresses various Pop Culture issues that nobody wants to touch. This column is for individuals who seek and support justice for all and have a good sense of humor. This month's topic will address loud-ass librarians who get away with talking about things in a library that normal people can't.
Various people have said that the biggest problem facing the library system today are:
-Not enough internet computers
-People not returning items like books, videos and dvds on time
-Lack of seating and hard-ass, cold-ass chairs that are hard on the butt
-People with major body odor
-Too much gum wadded up and stuck under the tables and chairs
-Low copies of popular books
-Nasty-ass bathrooms
-Long checkout lines
-Small endowments

But personally, I think that the biggest problem facing the library system today is Librarians who talk too damn much about inappropriate things.

It seems like every time I go to a public library the Librarians are louder than the patrons and that's just plain wrong! It's just not fair! If the Librarians are allowed to talk loud then the patrons should have the right to be loud too!

I think that when Librarians take library science as a major in college they should be required to take classes like "Shutup and Be Quiet 101" or "Appropriate Talk For The Library 102."

In my 27 years of going to the library, I have personally heard Librarians discuss in loud voices their hemorrhoid problems, lactose intolerant problems, their financial problems, kiddie problems, lawn mower problems and much much more. Just last week, while I was at the library I heard a male Librarian trying to hook up with a female patron. The talk between them was so loud and intimate that I wanted to tell them "to get a room!"

I mean, what the hell is going on! Where have all the good Librarians gone? Is there no mystery or professionalism in library science anymore? Shouldn't personal stuff like that be discussed on breaks or at home. If Librarians absolutely have to talk about their personal business can't they at least whisper to each other so that all of the patrons in the library can't hear their business?

Dammit, i'm mad because Librarians are supposed to set a good example for everyone on how to behave properly in the library, but how can they do that when they are talking loud about inappropriate things?

Hey loud-ass Librarians listen up! Show your patron's some common courtesy by being professional and doing your job! And part of your job is to talk quietly about appropriate things in the library! Duh!

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By Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden
Published: 6/6/2007
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Loud-ass Librarians Who Talk Too Damn Much About Inappropriate Things:
Should have their library cards suspended for two weeks.
Should have their library cards suspended for 1 year!
Should have their library cards permanently revoked to really teach their asses a lesson!
Should have to eat a piece of wadded up gum stuck under the tables and chairs everyday for 6 months!
Should have to stand in the corner until they can behave themselves properly in the library.
Should be given a second chance to clean up their act and their mouths. Have a heart and give them a break!
Should be able to say whatever the hell they want because I love to hear their conversations!
Should be spanked with the latest Jackie Collins novel.
Should have to read books partially written by Britney Spears and Paris Hilton to really show them how bad their behavior has been.
Should have to wear a t-shirt for 1 week that says, "I'm too sexy and inconsiderate for my shirt, so sexy yeah!" But only if they are good looking!
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