Diary

Early days yet, of course, but we can't help thinking it'll take something pretty extraordinary to rob the Australian of our coveted Headline of the Month Award for its quite outstanding effort, Lightning Exits Woman's Bottom. "I was brushing my teeth at the time," a remarkably composed Natasha Timarovic tells the paper, "and had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the bolt must have struck the building. I don't remember much after that." Doctors treating Ms Timarovic for "burns to the mouth and rear" said the accident was "bizarre, but not impossible": she was wearing "rubber bathroom shoes at the time, so instead of earthing through her feet, the electricity shot out of her backside". A warning, we feel, to us all.

· But could it possibly be that in all the praise he lavished on Mr Tony the other week - and who, let's face it, could forget the power, the poignancy, the profundity, the sheer poetry of the phrase, "You saw it right, you saw it clearly, you saw it through" - the Iron Chancellor was not being entirely sincere? We only ask because at the Edinburgh International Book Festival on Sunday he seemed to be saying, in a never less than enthralling discussion with the film-maker Anthony Minghella, that there had been some "huge errors of judgment made by politicians, maybe in the last few years as much as in previous years". Good job nobody heard him, really.

· Our most heartfelt commiserations, on the one hand, to the head of human resources at Birmingham city council, who is not only getting massive media grief over the revelation that municipal workers in his employ are earning £53,000 for painting white lines on the road, but is also called Alan Partridge. We strongly suspect there's a joke in there somewhere.

· Our warmest congratulations, on the other, to Dr Rob Lutton, lecturer in medieval history at the University of Nottingham, who according to the city's estimable Evening Post will shortly begin teaching that institution's brand new MA in Robin Hood studies.

· Now here's a thing: Reverend George Hargreaves, a Pentecostal minister of strong and, we think we can safely say, conservative views, has just mounted a high court challenge to the scandalous 2004 police guidelines that recommend against the automatic arrest and incarceration of all errant souls caught in possession of small quantities of cannabis for personal use. Intriguingly, it seems the upstanding founder of Operation Christian Vote, as outspoken an opponent of abortion, stem-cell research and euthanasia as you could ever wish to find, once penned that Sinitta 80s disco smash and gay-club classic So Macho (sample lyrics: "If I have a man tonight / He's gotta be right right right / So macho he's gotta be so macho / Gotta be big and strong / Enough to turn me on"). How very pleasing that the wages of sin (in this instance, a royalties flow estimated at some £10,000 a month) should be being put to such sensible use!

· On July 27, at the height of the conflict in Lebanon, the secretary of state for foreign and commonwealth affairs appeared on Channel 4 news to express her concern at the use of Glasgow Prestwick airport by the US air force to supply bombs to the state of Israel. Oddly, this segment was missing from the version of the interview that was subsequently posted on the FCO website. Asked why by our favourite Lycra-clad cat impersonator, the honourable member for Bethnal Green and Bow, minister Kim Howells replied that "the major part of the interview focused on the conflict in Lebanon", and officials simply "edited the content" to reflect that. Allegations that the British government was assisting in the supply of US weapons to one of the principal parties to the conflict in Lebanon having, obviously, nothing at all to do with the conflict in Lebanon. Brilliant.

· Freedom of Information Request of the Week: how much has the MoD spent on sweets for Afghan and Iraqi children, of what type, and in what quantity have they been dished out? Now that's what we call a question.