Pawn Cocktails

In cricket, there was ball-tampering; in football, there are bungs. Now the world of chess has been rocked by 'toiletgate' - Vladimir Kramnik has forfeited a game in his world championship match against Veselin Topalov after being banned from using his private lavatory between moves. Topalov had complained about the frequency of Kramnik's relief visits.

Chess does not have a mass audience. It moves slowly and the drama is appreciated only by experts. But plying competitors with fluids and banning loo stops would dramatically speed up play and introduce an element of competitive endurance. Make the fluid beer and there would also be more gross blunders and spectacular reversals of fortune.

Toiletgate holds the key to making chess a real spectator sport.