Crystal Trino's Journal Sep 10 2006 Entry

September 10. Sunday Night.

Hi Journey.

The cemetery in September is quieter than summer, and so there was an opportunity for intimacy yesterday during my visit with Mattie.

"I’ve missed you so much," I said as soon as I settled into my blue fold-up camping chair. The day was cool, with just a slight breeze rolling across the grass and the headstones. Wyuka is an old cemetery, and most of the headstones stand upright instead of lying flat on the ground. A third of these vertical veterans are of an old enough vintage that they’ve started to list a little. One day they’ll all be flat, like the owners that lie underneath them.

Mattie’s doesn’t tilt at all. Not yet. Her Joel’s only been parked here for twenty years. Still, a-leaning is inevitable; no matter how solid of a foundation you provide for a tombstone, the ground underneath always slides away.

"Casey’s pulling up stakes again, Mattie. She’s moving to Egypt, of all places. I know it’s crazy, but apparently she’s done with whatever gig really really called her to New Caledonia. I’ve been corresponding with Sid. We’re talking in a sort of code--juvenile, I know--but it’s ‘cause I’m afraid somebody’s after my sister. Somebody like the CIA or Interpol or an outfit like that; but so far Sid hasn’t been able to come up with anything definite. Quite frankly Mattie I’m scared that she saw something overseas or was simply on a bus or a flight with the wrong people. And sometimes I wonder if she might just be in trouble with some terrorists."

There. The truth’s out, and with it some little trace of that fear I’ve kept pent up inside of me for so long. It’s one thing to jot down your feelings in a note and FedEx them off to a good friend like Sid; it’s another to hear yourself confess them out loud at the graveside of somebody you love.

Talking about the terrorists and the threat to my sister dredged up thoughts of tomorrow, J. I don’t want to think about it--I tend to turn off the TV retro-specials and the radio. Tomorrow-minus-five is all they’ve been talking about on KAAZ talk radio lately. I’ve just had to switch it off in the Corolla when I drive back and forth from the shop.

"The Corolla’s still holding up, Mattie. You’d be proud of me; I’m not vampiring any extravagant-living funds out of my business. Not at all. We had enough for bonuses for all the staff at Fourth of July time, and I even paid myself a little bit this time. Started a down payment fund for a house. Of course, the folks would loan me the money--give me the money is more like it--but I’d rather they just enjoy it. Anyway, you know I want to earn it on my own. Mom and Dad are well, Mattie. They are back in Florida after the Japan trip, but they seem to be enjoying themselves."

I sat there for a while, talking, mostly just a monologue about business and family. I dumped off a lot of my worries about Dana and Viv; let her know Joni was pregnant. Mattie had never met Joni but had talked with her on the phone at the shop when Joni had answered. After a while I pulled out my newest book, the one with the scarlet cover. There were a few surprises inside, Journey. But just now the phone’s ringing and I have to go.

Goodnight, Journey

P.S. It was Dakota; she just wanted to chat. She couldn’t sleep, remembering tomorrow-minus five. It’s a lot more intimate for her, being in New York. I listened for an hour. Friends, you know, J. Friends.

And oh, I forgot--they did have lilacs to put on Mattie’s grave, J. ‘Nite.