10 Dangerous Myths About Premature Ejaculation

Have you visited the websites that offer "advice" to cure rapid ejaculation? "Be kind to yourself. Learn to forgive yourself if things don't go perfectly" and "Let go of expectations". " Use the squeeze technique or count backwards during sex".

Totally useless for the guy who has always come too fast.

Maybe your beliefs about PE are holding you back from a fulfilling sex life. You read these beliefs everywhere so you start to accept them, but they are based on a partial truth. And half truths are often more dangerous than lies.

But there is a way to end rapid ejaculation on demand. And it is based on busting these myths and then taking action.

Myth 1: You think you "learned to come too fast" and so you need to unlearn it.

You’ve heard this one, right? You were masturbating as a teenager and didn’t want to get caught so … Half truth. There may well be a learned behavior in PE but this is not the full story.

In fact, there are differences in body chemistry between guys who come fast and guys who come slowly, or even can’t come at all. How fast you ejaculate has a physical component, and it is maybe even genetic (it runs in the family).

So being nervous or excited may cause you to come quickly. But how quickly depends on your underlying physical "set point". So guys have a longer set point than others.

Good news: You can do something to change this body chemistry. It will be a lot easier than "learning how to let go of your expectations".

Myth 2: You think you are somehow "not normal".

Deep down inside, you believe from all the "sex ed" on the web, in magazines etc. that guys are all born studs.

Half truth. Normal is not average – normal is a range. It is obvious that there is a range of abilities in every area, and a range of differences in physical functioning. Just the same as some guys have a bigger penis and others a smaller one, some guys will come faster and others will come slower. And about 30% of guys come sooner than they or their partner want. So rapid ejaculation is pretty common.

Most studies on how long is "normal" are inaccurate since most guys over-estimate their "staying power". But stopwatch measurements on 500 guys gave an average of about 5 minutes. And about 2% came in less than one minute. However, among those men who sought treatment from a medical practitioner, the majority ejaculated with 30 seconds….

Even though coming rapidly might be fairly common, it doesn’t mean that it is good for your sex life. It can be devastating for both partners.

In reality, everyone has to learn how to be a good lover. This includes learning your physical limitations AND, more importantly what to do to compensate for them, or even better to overcome them.

Good news: Changing your ‘set point’ for ejaculating is a LOT easier than changing your penis size.

Myth 3: No-one understands your condition.

When you look at the information on the web, it’s easy to be forgiven for getting this impression based on the useless advice being offered. You have tried it and you know it won’t work for you.

And if you have spoken to a non-specialist doctor they will probably quote questionable research from decades ago…. The squeeze method or the stop start method, or even "don’t worry about it, it’s all in your head".

So your assumption is based on personal evidence. But it is another half truth. In fact, PE is a hot area of research, after the success of Viagra followed from research in impotence. And medical researchers have a good general understanding of the mechanisms involved in ejaculation. It is not a complete understanding by any means, but it is much better than the understanding decades ago.

Good news: Current medical understanding is not complete but it IS good enough to offer you effective and rapid treatments.

Getting curious? Keep reading because it is important to understand these issues and FIX your condition soon.

Myth 4: Therapy is the best ‘cure’.

That’s the decades old understanding, but perhaps it is still touted by those who have vested interests in selling you expensive on-going therapy?

Half-truth. In fact, most guys either do not complete the therapy (you’d need a very understanding long-term partner and be prepared for uncertain results) or they do make some improvement and then relapse to their old state. The first two myths above give you some clues – the body easily returns to its natural rapid ejaculation "set point".

It is efficient to change your attitudes to change the body functioning. And it can be done. But it is MUCH harder to shift attitudes and beliefs, particularly about an area which is so central to a man’s conception of himself and his sexuality.

Let’s use an analogy. Do you change a guy’s confidence (for example to believe that they are good in bed) and therefore change his sexual prowess, or is it better to give him some techniques to change his prowess, and therefore let him automatically gain more confidence – a self-reinforcing process.

Good news: There are some things you can do which will get significant results right away. So read on…

Sign up below to find out about non-therapy treatments that work right away. And you will get a free e-course!

Myth 5: You can last longer by doing ‘Kegel’ squeezes doing sex.

Kegels exercise a genital muscle called the Pubococcus Muscle (PC muscle). Some guys say that by developing strong PC muscles and then clenching the PC muscle when you feel you are going to come will prevent ejaculation. (You can do a Google search on Kegels to find out about PC exercises).

This is another half truth. Here are the facts.

The PC exercises do work for some guys. And these exercises will certainly increase the power and maybe sense of pleasure you get from orgasm.

But the squeezing during sex may worsen your problem. PC squeezing is more likely to hasten the onset of ejaculation for most guys. Or it may even cause retrograde ejaculation that is where the ejaculate is forced back into the bladder.

Good news: Doing Kegels might help you because premature ejaculation often occurs together with erection problems. Straining to maintain an erection employs this very same squeezing technique and can hasten ejaculation. So improving PC muscle strength can help reduce the problem but it is unlikely to remove it.

Don’t go overboard but you can develop the health of these muscles easily over a few weeks, and it is free! It is good to have strong PC muscles. But squeezing DURING sex is unlikely to help you.

If you have problems getting or maintaining an erection after developing your PC strength, you could also consider asking your doctor for a medication such as Viagra. Research shows that Viagra also tends to slow ejaculation slightly. So there is a double benefit for guys with erection issues for the reasons mentioned above.

Myth 6: PE only affects your partner’s enjoyment of sex not yours. So you can compensate by being good at foreplay and stimulating her physically....

Many guys think this. After all, you can come anytime and it feels good, right? So your main problem is making her satisfied through lots of foreplay etc., and she will be OK.

Half truth. Of course paying attention to her needs will be better than no foreplay! But here’s the real effect of PE on a sexual relationship.

Her mental: most women are attracted to a dominant (but considerate) man, and although she will appreciate your thoughtfulness, not being able to stay hard and last a long time will diminish her idea of your dominance and manliness. You are forced to be more passive during sex by your condition.

Your mental: You will never feel like you can really ‘deliver’ what you should be doing, and this subtly reflects in your confidence about your sexuality. This is going to affect all aspects of your interactions with women: through the approach, seduction, sex to the relationship, and thereby limit your sexual options. She WILL pick up on this lack of deep inner confidence.

Her physical: While pleasuring her with your fingers or tongue is good, it is not the same to her as coming though intercourse alone with you on top of her and experiencing your own excitement, either mentally or physically. One of the biggest turn-ons for a woman is when the guy is simultaneously turned-on. And most women need at least several minutes of vigorous vaginal stimulation to come from intercourse.

Your physical: Have you ever noticed that your orgasm is much more powerful when you have an extended build up of physical sensations, rather than ejaculating rapidly. So you pay for rapid ejaculation with a reduction of your pleasure too.

Good news: You can change your set point and last much longer on demand. Now you have this understanding, the practical tips will make much more sense. And if you apply them, it will make a difference!

Myth 7: All Premature Ejaculation is the same.

The half truth: PE is PE…. and it sucks. What you read and hear does not differentiate between types of rapid ejaculation: it is treated from the perspective of the symptom. It is a bit like saying that allergy is one disease… in reality, there are many types of allergy with different causes although the allergy symptoms may be similar.

The fuller truth: There are different causes of rapid ejaculation and there are different circumstances in which it occurs.

From a time perspective, there is a difference whether you have a lifelong condition (you have always come fast though whatever stimulation) or whether it developed somewhat later in life or is just occasional.

In the case where your condition has always existed, the cause is almost certainly that you have a biochemical set point that causes you to come from little mental and physical stimulation. In other words, your body is programmed to do this.

Good News (and Bad news): Men WITHOUT PE slow down with age and tend to last longer. But research has shown that it WILL NOT GET BETTER with age if you have lifelong premature ejaculation.

In the case where the condition has developed recently, it could be due to a hidden or obvious health problem such as diabetes and you should get a thorough health check.

In case your condition is only occasional, it is more likely to have a mental "trigger". For example, you are with a new partner you feel under pressure. But there is a corresponding change in your body.

But it might just be that you are tired, sexually exhausted, stressed or otherwise not well which leads to depleted chemicals in the nervous system. Or maybe you haven’t had sex for some time: every guy knows that they will come faster in this situation.

Good News: In every case, there is an on-demand solution is available to solve your permanent or temporary condition. This is because we now know enough how to manipulate the physiology to lengthen ejaculation time regardless of the cause or how long you normally last.

Get a scientifically based on-demand solution and get a free e-course by registering below.

Myth 8: Premature Ejaculation is defined by how long you can last.

Maybe you have tried to find out how long the ‘average’ guy can last during sex to compare yourself. Researchers tried to define PE in terms of a time measurement called IELT (intra-vaginal ejaculatory latency time) which basically means the time between when you insert your penis into the vagina till you ejaculate.

But these figures are not available or are very unreliable. They vary wildly depending on which source you get them from and how they are defined. One entry in Wikipedia defines this time as 7.2 minutes for healthy guys while other research sources quote as little as 2 minutes.

Anyhow, who cares. Comparing yourself is not as useful as making sure you last as long as you need and you know how to satisfy a partner both physically AND emotionally.

Certainly, any guy who has a regular IELT of 2 minutes of less is likely to be unhappy or to have an unhappy partner. But IELT is not a good measure of PE because the time alone does not give an indication of anything much to do with the experience during sex for both partners.

Now researchers have decided on a composite definition:

Premature ejaculation is a male sexual dysfunction characterized by ejaculation which always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute of vaginal penetration; and, inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all vaginal penetrations; and, negative personal consequences, such as distress, bother, frustration and/or the avoidance of sexual intimacy.

Just as some men come quickly, so do some women. Physical compatibility is an issue in sex, both in "responsiveness" and physical variables such as penis and vagina size. And the amount of foreplay, the relationship of the two partners and the skill of the man as well as the attitudes and experiences of both man and woman create a complex interaction that leads to the subjective experience of sexual satisfaction (or not). The time taken till the guy comes is only a part of that variable.

Good news: It doesn’t really matter how long other guys last, so you don’t need to agonize over whether you are "normal" or not. Just focus on doing something about lasting as long as you want, and see if it leads to an enhanced sexual experience for both of you.

You may consider it more of a problem than she does, because of your desire for control over the sexual interaction. But in any case, if you or she thinks you have a problem, regardless of how long you last, you should take action to lengthen your time. And it is possible.

Myth 9: Lasting a long time will ensure she comes easily and you’ll be a stud.

If you are like many guys who are not confident about their ability to perform well in bed, your three basic fears are probably: Am I big enough? Can I get it up? Can I last long enough? Probably in that order! Unless you have a big penis or unless you have one particular problem, in which case the order will change.

This puts a tremendous pressure on you: this pressure might not reduce your penis size, but it is likely to impact on your ability to last longer or get hard. Penis size is somewhat important in spite of the politically correct information that states it is not. But it is not nearly as important for most women as your getting hard or lasting a reasonable time before ejaculating.

Delivering on these two things probably means you are an OK lover. But it is NOT enough to rock her world. Men and women are turned on by different things, and respond to different cues in sex.

For a woman, a good sexual experience depends much more on emotional and mental stimuli, and for a guy it is initiated more by visual and physical stimuli. So the most important thing for a guy is to WATCH and see her reaction. Don’t go by what she says; go by what makes her aroused. When you find something that arouses her, keep on doing it. Just as attraction is not a choice, arousal is not a choice either. It is not an intellectual thing. It is visceral.

Good news: It is very possible achieve a good erection and to last longer. THEN you have the physical basis to experiment and observe. Or for a shortcut you can use the great materials that are already available on dating, seduction and sexual technique to give you insights to get REALLY good at being a desirable sex partner..... something that it is normal for you to want, and something that is achievable.

But you have to have the basics in place first. All the knowledge in the world will not help you run if you can’t stand up and be there!

Myth 10: You can’t change it, so learn to live with it.

This is the biggest mistake of all. This is the mistake that will keep you from being a great lover, ever! And that is a BIG loss to you and your current and future partners.

Actually, let me tell you a secret. If you can control your PE, you might be a better lover than other guys. Why? Because your experience will have made you more observant and more caring in the bedroom. But you also need to be confident in your ability "to deliver" and therefore able to take a dominant role too. Most women prefer a dominant but caring person.

You don’t want to feel helpless or admit your problems. It’s not guy nature. So we sit on them. Experiencing the sick feeling of being inadequate in some way? Trying to hide it?

How about the pride and satisfaction of the feeling that will come with lasting a lot longer? And having the CHOICE!

OK, so what do you need to do to last longer?

First let me give you a bit more information.

A recent State of the Art Medical Conference on Premature Ejaculation found that mental factors DO contribute to PE. But time to ejaculation is MOSTLY a biological (physical) variable. And they noted that the use of special medications lengthens the time from penetration to ejaculation.

These medications act on the body’s serotonin system. Serotonin is a natural nerve chemical (neurotransmitter) which promotes relaxation. Guys who come quickly have lower levels of this natural body chemical. This is one of the primary reasons for rapid ejaculation.

Bad news: These serotonin enhancers (medically called SSRI’s, for example Prozac) have side effects leading to reduced libido (sex drive) or even impotence.

Good news: There are medications that work to control premature ejaculation. Unlike older medicines, they have few side effects. And even better they can be used on demand, one hour before sex - just like the popular erection enhancer Viagra.

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